55 for Luck

A moment of panic overcame him

as he lost sight of her in the crowd.

Time was running short

and he dare not miss his opportunity.

He searched madly,

knowing she would be hard not to see.

She stood out.

As the clock struck twelve

theirs was a good luck kiss for the New Year.

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Happy New Year to All!

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55

hosted by Mr. Knowitall.

For more 55's pay him a visit -

Mr. Knowitall.

________________________

Or if you want yet another challenge

write a Sunday 160.

Like a text message, the Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces)
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
Visit at least one other Sunday 160

___________________

I promise I will read your 160 and post a comment.

I will admit I'm lazy Sunday mornings lazy, so please be patient

What The Hell Wednesday - Oh Canada!

It seems that What The Hell Wednesday has primarily focused on the good old US of A with a foray or two into Europe I really don't keep track of that kind of detail so if you want to verify, just hit my WTHW archives. So today we visit our fine and friendly neighbors to the north who brought you Molson, Arctic air currents with tons of snow and my friend at Absolutely Narcissism. Really...she is VERY funny and you should go see her.

Drunken Snowmobiler Taunts Police

Mounties say a man was so drunk he thought it would be a good idea to taunt police by spinning his snowmobile around a parking lot while swearing at officers.


Selkirk RCMP say the bizarre incident began around 12:30 a.m. Friday in a hotel parking lot in Petersfield, north of Winnipeg.


The man finally fell off his snowmobile right in front of officers in the midst of his antics, said RCMP.


Police arrested a 35-year-old man from the Rural Municipality of St. Andrews and impounded a 2011 Polaris snowmobile.

Imagine that....a drunken Canadian. Will wonders never cease...eh? Okay, yes, I am stereotyping, but that is just part of the fun of What The Hell Wednesday, it give me free reign to get obnoxious. You know, to be an ugly American. We are soooo good at it.

What I really love about this story is the drunken snowmobiler is riding in circles around the mounties. For some reason this brings to mind the scene in Indiana Jones where the giant of Arabic decent see I can be politically correct brandishes his sword as Indy pulls out a gun and shoots him. Can't you just picture the mounties shaking their heads, pulling out their pistols attached around their necks ala Dudley Dooright and firing away until the bullet riddled snowmobile falls silent. Snowmobiler should have known you done bring a knife to a gun fight.

But in reality, snowmobile guy ends up being so drunk that he falls off the vehicle at the feet of the RCMP. Classic. This is right out of a McKenzie Brothers movie, eh? What was he yelling at the cops? "Eff off you hosers!"? I just wish my imagination was so vivid that I could make this stuff up, but....this is a true story.

I am sure the Mounties looked at the fallen snowmobiler at their feet, shook their heads and said "What the Hell, eh?"

One Shot - Fate

Face to face for the first time
yet souls that had been together
for an eternity
connected,
safe,
familiar.
Feelings open and honest
brothers and sisters,
husbands and wives,
lovers
from another time and place
few gain this opportunity
and fewer still understand and follow.
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Follow this link for more One Shot Wednesday poems.
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Sunday 160 - Aftermath

 A glow of spent happiness filled the air.

 Ribbons and wrap littered the floor

 as satisfied smiles

 long lingered

 across the faces

 of Santas of all ages and sizes.

_____________________

For the original Sunday 160

 post click here.

If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:

1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).

2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.

3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.

(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160)

4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.

____________________

 

Hope all your Christmases were full of happiness and joy.

Christmas Checklist - 55

Reviewing my check list,

I ticked them off one by one.

Decorating, shopping, card mailing all done.

But something disturbed me.

Something was amiss.

Was it leaving out mistletoe and missing a kiss?

No, that too, was checked off

but what was it that remained?

Yes!

A Merry Christmas to blogdom

and new friendships gained.

_________________________

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55
hosted by Mr. Knowitall.
For more 55's pay him a visit -
Mr. Knowitall.
________________________

Or if you want yet another challenge

write a Sunday 160.

Like a text message, the Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces)
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
Visit at least one other Sunday 160

___________________

I promise I will read your 160 and post a comment.

I will admit I'm lazy Sunday mornings lazy, so please be patient

What The Hell Wednesday - Santa's Got A Gun

Somehow I just knew the seamy underbelly of America would come through at Christmas time with an appropriate Holiday story. So I proudly present to you the following as compiled by our dear friends at the Associated Press. Do they still have jobs?

'Santa Claus' robs Rhode Island yacht club bar

EAST PROVIDENCE, R.I. - Call it a ho-ho-holdup. (no I didn't add this line....AP gets all the discredit)

Police say a man dressed as Santa Claus has robbed a Rhode Island yacht club. A bartender was alone in the East Providence Yacht Club Sunday night when a large man wearing a red suit, red hat, white beard and carrying a sack walked into the bar and brandished a gun.

The bartender fled and ran to a nearby business where she called 911. By the time police arrived, the Santa bandit - as well as an undetermined amount of cash from the register - was missing.

No arrests have been made.

I just love that last line. I am sure it is there to assure all the kiddies out there that Santa will still show up on Christmas eve and that he isn't waiting in the poky for the elves to bail him out.

Part of me wants to dispel this story as something AP made up just to use the "Ho ho hold-up" line and here's why....The bar at a yacht club is empty except for the bartender. I mean really. This is about as believable as the tooth fairy, Sasquatch and, well, Santa Claus. You've all heard the term "drinks like a sailor". No yacht club bar would ever be empty.

Now, then again, maybe this bartender is the guilty party. A fictitious character shows up (mind you a fictitious character renown for giving gifts and being friendly to all); pulls out a gun (jolly old St. Nick with a gun?); and steals cash? No one else is around to see? Soooo, who do you think the police should be looking for? The gun toting Santa (antithesis of what the REAL Santa is supposed to be) OR barely eking out a living bartender tired of ogles, stares and pinches from drunken yachtsmen. Hmmmm.

Regardless of who the actual guilty party is, I am sure once the East Providence police heard the bartender's story, they looked at one another and said (all together now) "What the Hell?"

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On another note. I just got back from my annual check up at the doctor (no...not the full on glove treatment kind, just the let's chat and take your blood kind) and as I was waiting to have my blood drawn, I noticed the nurse looking at a small bottle. What got my attention was the label on the bottle. It looked like an airline size booze bottle with peaches on the label.

I asked the nurse what was in the bottle, to which she replied, "A urine sample. Strangest thing I've ever seen a sample come in." I promptly burst out laughing. Some idiot peed in this tiny booze bottle (can you imagine the mess that would make - the opening on those bottles are minuscule) that is probably unsanitized so he or she could try to pass a UA.

Can't you just hear it? "I'm sorry, sir (or madam) but you failed your urine analysis. It was quite high in alcohol content. Perhaps next time you night consider giving it to us in something different than a peach schnapps bottle."

People amaze me.

Brain Worm - Sunday 160

The Worm was everywhere.
He loved this time of year.
In stores.
In the car.
Even on television.
He left his merry tune.
“Have a Holly Jolly Christmas”, he said.
_____________________

For the original Sunday 160 post click here.
If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:

1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160)
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.
____________________

There are certain songs that are just plain evil we love to hear at this time of year. Hear just a word or two and the song gets stuck in your mind for what seems like, well, forever.The blessed Burl Ives' "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" does that to me....it creeps sickeningly into my head sticks....and since this is a time of year to be generous, I thought I should share. So I give this gift to each and every one of you. Enjoy and have a great week before Christmas.

Frozebud - 55

Early cold can strike at the heart
leaving life alone
to never know the beauty
of being in full bloom.
Rather to prune frozen feelings
of a life left unfulfilled
than to allow the rot
of the past
to prevent a healthy start
in Spring’s new beginnings.

Winters will pass.

New blooms will be revealed.
_________________________

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55
hosted by Mr. Knowitall.
For more 55's pay him a visit -
Mr. Knowitall.
________________________

Or if you want yet another challenge

write a Sunday 160.

Like a text message, the Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces)
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
Visit at least one other Sunday 160

___________________

I promise I will read your 160 and post a comment.

I will admit I'm lazy Sunday mornings lazy, so please be patient

What The Hell Wednesday - The Naked Truth

Welcome back to What The Hell Wednesday where we strip stories down and analyze the possibilities behind the published reports. I must admit I was torn today because there were several stories that were just too good to pass up. I skipped the story of the woman who beat her husband for bringing home cold take out and figured it would be more fun to flesh out the following two stories. That's right I was too wishy washy to pick just one.

Security Camera Snaps Man in Cemetery

PICAYUNE, Mississippi - A man caught naked in a church cemetery says he was trying to take photographs of spirits. Robert Hurst told The Picayune Item that he removed his clothes because he believes skin is the best canvas to show spirits' orbs of energy.

The 47-year-old said he only intended to remove his shirt, but he took off all his clothes - a move he now calls "stupid."

Authorities had set up a motion-activated camera to try to catch vandals. The chief deputy in Pearl River County said Hurst was not accused of vandalism, but the camera caught an unexpected image of Hurst naked and landed him a misdemeanor charge of indecent exposure.

Postal Employee Arrested for Delivering Mail Naked

WHITEFISH BAY, Wis. - A Wisconsin postal carrier says he simply wanted to cheer up a woman who seemed "stressed out" when he decided to deliver mail in the buff. But upon further review, the worker told police that delivering mail while completely naked probably wasn't a good idea.

A police report says the 52-year-old man told the woman he would deliver the mail in the nude to her office in Whitefish Bay to make her laugh. The report says that on Dec. 4 he brought the mail wearing only a smile.

The mail carrier was arrested for lewd and lascivious behavior several days later. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel says the man admitted delivering the mail naked was a stupid thing to do.

Well how about that! Both of these guys admit their actions were a stupid thing to do. How mature. Is there hope here that either one has a brain in his head? I doubt it. So let's dress these stories down one item at a time, starting with - Naked Cemetery Guy.

First off, don't you think this guy spends a bit too much time watching Ghost Adventures or Ghost Hunters of one of those other 'searching for afterlife' shows? I mean really. I have my beliefs and have even posted about a personal experience. But I didn't get naked. Do ghosts really get all turned on by the "canvas" of a naked body? I don't think so. I think what we have here is a nut job that likes to get naked in cemeteries....plain and simple.

As to Naked USPS Dude - Yeah, that's what brings most women out of a funk....seeing their mailman stripped to the bone. Ack! That doesn't sound right and now I have an even worse picture of the incident in my brain...GET IT OUT!

This brings a whole new definition to the term "delivering a package". Oh, yes. It's bad pun time. We can have some fun with this one. The mail carrier is now the butt of all jokes down at the post office and everyone knows what he has in his mail bag.

We all know for certain that the people who viewed the cemetery video and the poor woman who was in need of a smile did a double take and said, "What the Hell?"

One Shot - Still Waters

Silhouetted by the dampened glare of street lights,
the beautifully curved form glanced skyward
trying to find romance in stars
lost to the impenetrable gray
of late night clouds.
Her long graceful fingers
slowly sliding over her slender waist
and round hips
as if imagining her hands
as those of a longed for lover.
Wetness dripped tears of rain
down the window before her,
matching the mascara tinted dew
falling from her lashes.
She hoped the rain
would wash away the gloom
and once again flood her heart
with the love of another.
She felt deserving
and knew desire.
But wanted a real
and tender love
tinged with passion
yet full of understanding.
It was there for her
if she had patience.
If she could wade through
the shallow puddles of a man
and find the depth of soul
to match the soul she carried within.
The silhouette slipped on her rain boots
and walked out into heaven’s tears
in search of puddles to splash
and deep waters from which to drink.
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Follow this link for more One Shot Wednesday poems.
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