Thursday, December 9, 2010

Friday 55 with a twist

Hey all!

This week I am participating not only in Mr. Knowitall's Flash Fiction Friday 55, but am also linking to Ghost Hunting Theories first annual Blogger Zombie Walk.

So here is my 55 word entry for the Zombie Walk. It allows me to feed my addiction to G-Man's 55 and to fulfill a promise to GHT.'s fun and isn't that what this is all about?


A muffled shuffling sound came down the chimney flue
as the excited children gathered around the hearth.
Their eyes and hearts filled with anticipation
as sooty dust drifted out toward them.
First one black boot, then another.
Followed by a red and white suited figure.
The children screamed
as the ashen faced creature mumbled

For more Flash Fiction 55's Visit Mr. Knowitall.

For more Zombie Walk offerings check out these participating blogs: Ghost Hunting Theories; Gnostalgia; The Caffeinated Zombie; Improbable Frontiers; Anything Horror; Above-The-Norm: Bizarre Arizona; The Digital Looking Glass; Strange State; Hayes Hudson’s House of Horror; Echoes In the Abyss; Not Worth Mentioning; The Misadventures of HalloweeNut; Haunt Jaunts; Holly's Horrorland; and LeoGodin.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

What The Hell Wednesday - Blind drunk, that is

Welcome back to What The Hell Wednesday where we bring you an enlightened and light hearted look at life on the seamy side. This week we take a look at the ultimate in drunkenness. This dude is a doozy.

Man Who Says He Is Blind Arrested for DUI

BARTLESVILLE, Oklahoma -- A 41-year-old Bartlesville man being arraigned for DUI, leaving the scene of an accident, driving under suspension and assault on a police officer was re-arrested for reportedly being drunk after he fell down before the judge.

A short time later, Mark Watson failed a breathalyzer test administered by sheriff's deputies.

The initial charges stemmed from Watson's arrest early Monday morning after he had reportedly been involved in a hit and run crash in Bartlesville.

Bartlesville Police investigating the 2:28 a.m. crash found Watson's vehicle and questioned him.

In the probable cause affidavit filed with the court, Watson told officers, "I'm #*$%ing drunk, I was driving but I did not run the stop sign. That a##%& hit me."

The affidavit goes on to say Watson refused to take a blood or breath test, telling the officers, "I ain't taking no *#$%ing tests. I'm *#$%ing drunk. I'm blind anyways and I can't drive."

Police say he also kicked an officer during the arrest.

This is so much fun. Don't you love that long list of charges? What an effing idiot. At the first arrest he never denies being drunk but tries to place the blame on the other in "I wouldn't have been caught if it weren't for that a**hole." Then goes on in an attempt to lie his way out of even being at the scene. "I can't drive. I'm blind." Blind drunk, maybe. Blind to your own stupidity for certain. Finally, to make darn sure they know he is serious about his idiocy, he kicks the officer. Apparently, he isn't so blind that he can't locate a shin.

But wait! He also shows up before the judge drunk!!! Way to go buddy. I am sure he just wanted to hear the judge repeat that famous Dean Wormer quote from Animal House: "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

Another story I read about this case had Watson seated in the jury box waiting his trial, falling over and hitting his head. Bwahahahaha. This is the stuff of great slapstick comedy. Dude proceeded to fail a field sobriety test right there in court.

There is no doubt in my mind after hearing the hollow "Thonk" sound of Watson's head hitting the wood jury box, the judge said "What the Hell?"

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

One Shot - Hidden Hurt

Reflecting a radiant exterior,
younger than the years they had seen,
strong enough to be called upon
to twist, turn and grip
where others had failed.
But beneath the healthy appearance
lay constant pain.
Only small scars
and imperceptible deformities
reveal historic hints of tiredness.
Gnarled knuckles
nor disfigured digits
announce troubles within.
The hands appear with the same outward smile
borne on the face of their owner.


Follow this link for more One Shot Wednesday poems.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Sunday 160 - Frozen Fire

The frozen winter wind penetrated
layers of clothing
and chilled to the bone.
Even the fires of a sunset
couldn't remove the cold
that descended upon the earth.

For the original Sunday 160 post click here.
If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:

1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160)
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.