When it comes to the unusual, I just can't resist, and this theft doesn't just teeter on the unusual, it jumps right off bizarre bluffs. I mean, if you're gonna steal....make it worth while. Or make it worth me having a great time making fun of your stupidity. So as read in the Athens Banner-Herald.
Store has second deodorant theft in a week
Police in Georgia said a man attempted to steal several deodorant sticks from a pharmacy that was struck by a similar crime a week earlier.
Athens-Clarke County police said the man was caught on a security camera fleeing the store Friday with nine sticks of deodorant in four varieties stuffed into his cargo pants.
Police said the incident took place exactly one week after employees stopped a woman from stealing 12 deodorant sticks from the shelves.
Police were searching for the latest thief.
OKAY then. Stealing deodorant. If he needed it that badly, I am sure bloodhounds would have no problem following his trail. But then again, maybe it's not him with the odor issue. Maybe it's his family and he is just tired of having to put up with the smell. But nine sticks? That's either a very big family or a very big smell.
Apparently each family member has discerning tastes in deodorant - nine sticks in four varieties. This must have made for interesting conversation once the thief returned home.
Thief: "Alright, everbuddy, I went and picked up yer deodorant. Now maybe you kin stop stinkin' so much. Billy Bob, I got yer Old Spice stick right cheer and I is sure it will make you all muscly like the feller on them commercials. Daisy May, my sweet little flower, now you kin stop smellin' like them pigs. I got ya Dove 'cause I know how you likes to eat them little critters. An' Ma, I got that there Right Guard fer ya, since yer built like a guard. The rest of ya's kin just fight over what's left."
Store has second deodorant theft in a week
Police in Georgia said a man attempted to steal several deodorant sticks from a pharmacy that was struck by a similar crime a week earlier.
Athens-Clarke County police said the man was caught on a security camera fleeing the store Friday with nine sticks of deodorant in four varieties stuffed into his cargo pants.
Police said the incident took place exactly one week after employees stopped a woman from stealing 12 deodorant sticks from the shelves.
Police were searching for the latest thief.
OKAY then. Stealing deodorant. If he needed it that badly, I am sure bloodhounds would have no problem following his trail. But then again, maybe it's not him with the odor issue. Maybe it's his family and he is just tired of having to put up with the smell. But nine sticks? That's either a very big family or a very big smell.
Apparently each family member has discerning tastes in deodorant - nine sticks in four varieties. This must have made for interesting conversation once the thief returned home.
Thief: "Alright, everbuddy, I went and picked up yer deodorant. Now maybe you kin stop stinkin' so much. Billy Bob, I got yer Old Spice stick right cheer and I is sure it will make you all muscly like the feller on them commercials. Daisy May, my sweet little flower, now you kin stop smellin' like them pigs. I got ya Dove 'cause I know how you likes to eat them little critters. An' Ma, I got that there Right Guard fer ya, since yer built like a guard. The rest of ya's kin just fight over what's left."
Okay, I know what you're saying "But Monkey Man, the thief is from Georgia and you have him talking like some Kentucky Hillbilly." Yes, that's right I do. I guess it's just easier for me to type "Jethro" than "Nascar". So tough knobs if you don't like it.
Oh, one more thing - This was the second deodorant theft in a week!?! Do you think they might be related? Or was there just a bit of a warm spell in that area over the past couple of weeks that had folks sweating up a storm?
At any rate, can't you just see the puzzled looks on the security guys as they watched this doofus jam deodorant into his pockets, glanced over at each other and said "What the Hell?"
