Thursday, October 21, 2010

Mystical Rites 55

It was an annual rite of passage,
each tribe carrying its own tradition
and method of celebration.
For some it was the proper painting of skin.
For others it was all about
ritualistic garb, headdress or mask.
Regardless, all sought great reward
for their efforts
and consistently repeated
the proper magic incantation –

Trick or Treat!


This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55
hosted by Mr. Knowitall.

For more 55's pay him a visit -
Mr. Knowitall.

Or if you want yet another challenge write a Sunday 160.

Like a text message, the Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces)
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
Visit at least one other Sunday 160

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

What the Hell Wednesday - Scout's Honor, Your Honor

It was a fairly close call between this story and the story about the Cincinnati woman who robbed her husband at gun point, but how can you really top a MAYOR being arrested for stealing a purse and joy riding with a woman hanging off the side of his car. Ooooops! I just told the punch line before the joke. Oh well, read this story anyway.

San Gabriel Mayor Arrested

The mayor of San Gabriel has been arrested after a purse-snatching and a wild ride through streets with a woman clinging to his SUV.

San Gabriel Mayor Albert Huang was booked early Friday for investigation of felony assault, felony robbery and misdemeanor battery, according to police Lt. Ariel Duran.

Huang was released on $100,000 bail late Friday morning. He says the incident was the result of a misunderstanding.

"As a public official and a former Boy Scout, I hold myself to the highest standard of conduct. On last night's incident, it was a great misunderstanding between friends. As a result I am confident I will restore my reputation and prove my innocence in court,'' he told The Associated Press in an email.

Police were called to a restaurant at about 1:30 a.m. after reports of a couple embroiled in a heated argument. Duran said the 35-year-old mayor and the woman were squabbling over money in the restaurant parking lot.

Huang took the woman's purse containing her car keys, cash and personal belongings and got into her car. When the woman tried to prevent him from leaving, Huang pushed her away and got into his own car.

The woman then reached through the passenger window while standing on the SUV's running board as Huang sped away.

"It's a 25 mph speed limit zone and he's doing 45 with the female hanging on the car,'' Duran said, adding that Huang drove more than a quarter mile with the woman clinging to the side of the SUV.

I just love that quote "As a public figure and a former Boy Scout...." Now there's a good one, a public figure saying they hold themselves to a higher standard. Apparently, holding yourself to the highest standard and actually achieving it are two vastly different fetes to accomplish. Perhaps his Mayorship should write down that little quote and take a gander at it when he gets a little pissed.

Or maybe this guy should be taking more money from special interest groups so he doesn't have to "squabble" over a dinner check with some woman. We can only assume they knew each other. We can also assume the relationship is close enough that they know whose car is whose. Of course this woman could have represented a special interest and Mayor McSpeed was just making sure she wasn't holding out any money.

As to the ride on the running boards, San Gabriel is close to Los Angeles which has Disneyland and as we all know at 1:30 in the morning Disneyland is closed. Certainly this woman is a thrill seeker and with Disneyland closed, riding the SUV running boards at 45 MPH in the dark was the next best thing to Space Mountain. But, according to Mayor Carchase, it was an innocent little incident. Risking someone's life over a bar tab isn't innocent, Mr. Mayor.

As our friendly mayor drove off and approached 45 MPH, I am sure the woman clinging to his passenger door was saying something a bit more offensive than "What the Hell?"

Monday, October 18, 2010

Give me a break, Kelley.

So there I am sitting around minding my own business (wasting time) reading up on blogs I blew off over the weekend. (Yes, I do try to have a life outside of the blog0sphere - Mrs. MM would otherwise divorce me) when BAM Kelley at Kelley's break room hits me in the face with this big green blogger award.

Okay, so that's not really how it happened. What I was doing was reading her fine, funny blog about how this award asks her to write about ten things she likes. I am laughing and having a good time until I see my name on a list. Yup. There it is - Monkey Man - and I'm thinking "Shit, I have only been reading and commenting on her blog for a few weeks now. Did I tick her off and now she is getting back at me?"

So I graciously accept the "Award" and thank all the appropriate people keeping religion and higher deities off the list. There are enough sports figures, actors and rappers thanking them, they don't need it from me. Besides, religion is not my thing.

So here is my list of ten things I like followed by ten blogs I will pass this on to.

ONE: Chocolate - I LOVE chocolate. Dark. Milk. With bacon. With sea salt. With ginger (or Mary Ann). It is so good and the best thing about chocolate is that if it rots out all your teeth, you can still eat it because you don't need to chew it. Just put a piece between your tongue and the roof of your mouth and let it melt. Oh man, better stop now.

TWO: My Big Stupid Dog "Ezmond" - He is a pit bull and the sweetest most obedient dog I have ever had. The breed has a bad rap.

THREE: Disc Golf with my son - I used to throw Frisbee with buddies in the 'quad' during college. Usually loaded out of our gourds. Now my son and I get a bit of exercise and bonding all in the name of never letting him win. I am incorrigible.

FOUR: Football - You know how I said I have a life on weekends, well, this is it. Watching football. I twitch. I flinch. I have so much body movement watching it on tv you would think I am on the field. It is a wonderful waste of time.

FIVE: My chiropractor - With all the frisbee disc golf, I need a good back crackin' every now and then.

SIX: Sunday 160 - Okay this is a blatant plug for a micro fiction I host, but what the hell. I like it. Check out this week's. Right here.

SEVEN: Oatmeal Cookies - Preferably with raisins, but always and most often after begging Mrs. MM on bended knee for a late night sugar fix. (Yes, there are times when chocolate just won't do the trick.) Last night was nirvana - Monday Night Football and homemade oatmeal cookies. She is so good to me.

Bacon - (Are you noticing a common thread weaving through this meme?) Who doesn't like bacon? Everything is better with bacon....even bacon. I have had Bacon Chocolate, Bacon Salt, Bacon Explosion and the list goes on. Do check out the recipe I link to on the Bacon's heart stopping. I double up on my statin after eating that stuff.

Electricity - Without electricity I wouldn't be writing this wonderful blog, reading all of your wonderful blogs, cooking bacon or oatmeal cookies, watching football or doing any number of things that keep me fat and lazy. Yes, E-lec-tri-city, we love it.

Books - Okay, this was also on Kelley's list, but it is true. I love reading and I love books. For those who live in my area you are no doubt familiar with Powell's Books. For those who aren't, follow the link. We are blessed to have an internationally renown book store in our great city. People come from all over the world to explore, read and buy. It is awesome.

And now ten blogger to pass this on to. Mind you, you don't have to write this "ten things I like" deal if you don't want to, but I want to recognize you as newer blogs I follow and enjoy.

Well, I guess now you know everything there is to know about me. Thanks for allowing me to expose myself, Kelley. Hope you enjoyed. Also, I don't think I have ever in my two year bloggy life included as many links as I have in this post. It was exhausting. See you for What the Hell Wednesday. (Guess I still needed another link and more shameless promotion.)

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Sunday 160 - Fall's Cold

A golden eye squeezed open
and greeted the misty morning haze
with a shiver, unable to shake the chill.
Even a fiery display of color
couldn't warm fall’s cold.

For the original Sunday 160 post click here.
If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:

1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160.
There are a few Oregonians out there who will recognize this setting.
For those of you from other areas, this is Mt. Hood.
Just an hour from downtown Portland.