Wednesday, October 13, 2010

What The Hell Wednesday - Braaains!! (or lack there of)


As we approach Halloween, it only seems appropriate that What The Hell Wednesday start featuring a few scary bits of stupidity. Okay, all of these in their own little way are a bit scary. I mean, after all, we are all of the same species...isn't that a scary enough thought in itself?

So this week we travel to Colorado where we find a very creatively thinking thug using his imagination to its best ability.

Colorado man says he thought officer was a zombie

BOULDER, Colo. A man accused of shooting at a Longmont police officer trying to arrest him says he did so because he thought he was being chased by a zombie.
Twenty-two-year-old Brandon Duke was in court Friday and pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity to the charge of attempted first-degree murder and other charges. Authorities say an officer ran after Duke and was trying to arrest him on an outstanding warrant.

Duke told investigators he thought the officer was a zombie and he shot at him because he was trying to protect himself. The officer shot Duke, striking him in the torso and arm.

Duke will undergo a mental health evaluation and is scheduled in court again Dec. 3.


What kind of drugs was Brandon Duke on anyway? Police = Zombie. Good one, Brandon. Did the "I thought the woman's husband was chasing me" excuse already run its course? What about the "I was just out jogging and hate to lose a race, so I shot at him" excuse. That one always worked for me. (Not really, but I do hate to lose at anything.)

Now, surely once he got to court and the defense attorney heard the "Zombie" excuse, he jumped all over it. "Hey, kid. Why don't you just plead insanity and we can get you off on a lesser charge? That Policeman equals Zombie thing was quick thinking. I'm going to remember that one. I have a few clients that can use it." Don't you just love our judicial system.

So now Brandon undergoes a "Mental Health Evaluation". Well, of course he's insane. Any idiot who is out there stealing, having an arrest record and shooting at police is nuts. Do we really need these genes floating around the species? I don't think so. Although my guess is he is probably already a "baby daddy", let's snip this potential idiot breeder now before we have several little idiots out there shooting at "Zombies". Too bad the officer didn't shoot just a little lower.

Can you imagine the horror felt by the policeman as he was being shot at by some punk with a minor criminal offense? I am glad he was able to defend himself and hope that Brandon said, "What the Hell?" when the "Zombie" shot back.

12 comments:

Brian Miller said...

kids lucky the cop did not shoot to put down...

forever lost said...

morning monkey man! and yes the world is plenty scary without the horror movies! Last year I read about the police being called because a dumby (real Dumby with stuffing LOL) was propped climbing a ladder into a window in the front yard!

Mona said...

In India that excuse just might work!

Policemen= Zombies

or even something scarier...

Matty said...

Just as bad as the woman who smacked an officer in the face during a traffic stop, and used PMS as her defense. The jury bought it and acquitted her. I can just see the court system doing the same for this guy. Isn't American justice just f-ing great?

f82bfat said...

In sports the best defense is a good offense..I guess in real life the best defense is "I'm crazy". Gives me a lot of faith in the justice system if they fall for this. Afterall, we all know zombies can't run. .they just shamble along.

joanny said...

Umm cops and robbery's.... instead of school played too many video games growing up ----

Scary the way they think, IQ of -02.

Joanny

Caty said...

didn't think it was possible, but this left me flabbergasted. A zombie? too many nights playing playstation I guess! sheesh...

clean and crazy said...

oh, i heard one today you may need to look up, a wichita woman walked up to a cop on the street and gave him her name and asked if he could run her information to see if she had any outstanding warrants. the officer did so and she did have some. when he tried to arrest her, she ran. then he called for back up or something and she shoved him into a wall or something dislocating his elbow i think.

anyway it has more to it but it is a real WTF? only in wichita i guess our iq's are lower due to the lower stadnards of teaching, we beleive in creationism and stuff.

the walking man said...

just goes to show you how stupid some white kids can be but I think you really need to dig a bit deeper into this not baby's daddy story and who and how we was influenced by.

Start with a simple Google search and follow the trail back to the right wing ideologue he was listening to instead of playing with his X Box.

Kelley said...

A Zombie?? Sounds like that kid was a real ggiazo. Seriously, he just ain't right. He's probably a mixture of ain't-right AND drugs which equals REALLY ain't right. I do feel awful for that police officer. The po-lice just don't get paid enough for all that they do!

Jannie Funster said...

OMG, good thing I'm not a cop, I walk aroudn like a zombie most of the time. :)

Yikes, takes all kinds truly.

xo

Marla said...

This is the most ridiculous excuse ever. Everyone knows you need a chainsaw to kill a zombie.