Thursday, March 10, 2011

Stained - 55

He watched as the red spot on his chest 
spread and darkened on his stark white shirt. 
He had felt nothing. 
Heard no warning. 
Disbelief overcame shock. 
“Why?” he asked himself. 
Why had he worn a freshly laundered white shirt 
when he knew he would be up to his elbows 
in a condiment filled burger?

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55
hosted by Mr. Knowitall.
For more 55's pay him a visit -


Want yet another micro fiction challenge?

Write a Sunday 160.

Try It! 
If you have the courage.

Like a text message,
the Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces)
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
Visit at least one other Sunday 160

I promise I will read your 160 and post a comment.
I will admit I'm lazy Sunday mornings lazy, so please be patient

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

What The Hell Wednesday - This Buds for ME!! If I wake up.

This week's gem is brought to you by yet another drunk. I am so glad there are people out there with drug and alcohol problems because without them What The Hell Wednesday wouldn't exist. Check out this story about a man, a car and his beer.

Man Found Asleep in Car, Clutching Bud

LORAIN, OH A 51-year-old Lorain man was cited for physical control of a vehicle, failure to reinstate and open container after police found him slumped over in his vehicle holding a bottle of Bud Light, according to a Lorain police report.

Police found Jack Tucker at 3:49 a.m. Friday in a parked, but running, vehicle. Tucker was unresponsive and holding a full, open Bud Light bottle in his lap. He was breathing and snoring and did not wake up when police shook him and yelled at him, according to the report.

Ambulance workers later arrived and used smelling salts to wake Tucker. Tucker was taken to Mercy Regional Medical Center, but because of a health condition, was served with a summons and released from the hospital. 

At least the Bud he was clutching was a bottle.

You know what I love about this story? Well, of course you don't because you're not me. I love that the police have adopted an entire new language. "Physical control of a vehicle." While sleeping?? I guess he had to physically turn the key to make it run before passing out. And "Failure to reinstate." What a fancy way to say he was so effing drunk that a freight train couldn't wake him. THEN they call in an ambulance to administer smelling salts!?! That's right, an ambulance. Making this one expensive delivery service. "Who ordered smelling salts? You wanna supersize that?"

Why can't we just go back to the days when the police would take the open container of Bud, pour it on Jack's head to wake him up and push him out onto his front lawn give him a ride home. Better yet, why didn't they just quietly reach in, turn off the car and take his keys. Maybe even leave a note -

"Hi fella. Just want you do know that we have your keys. Come get them after your nap."
Lorain Police

I know. Today we have these things called attorneys and everyone is so afraid of being sued that no one does the logical thing any more. Let alone has a sense of humor about it. Wouldn't want to offend anyone. Oh no! Just like I am sure I am not offending anyone here. If I bad. It's my blog and I'll write what I want. Neener.

Just the same, I am sure the Lorain police, tired of yelling at this drunk and shaking him, just went back to their cruiser to call in the Ambulance and said "What the Hell."

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Sunday 160 - Alone at the end

Machines whirred and beeped
as fluids dripped into his body.
Groggy and alone
with no one to advocate on his behalf,
he was a very frightened 79-year-old child.

If you wish to take the Sunday 160 challenge, here are the rules:

1. The Sunday 160 only uses EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160. Provide a link if you can)
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.