Wednesday, December 8, 2010

What The Hell Wednesday - Blind drunk, that is

Welcome back to What The Hell Wednesday where we bring you an enlightened and light hearted look at life on the seamy side. This week we take a look at the ultimate in drunkenness. This dude is a doozy.

Man Who Says He Is Blind Arrested for DUI

BARTLESVILLE, Oklahoma -- A 41-year-old Bartlesville man being arraigned for DUI, leaving the scene of an accident, driving under suspension and assault on a police officer was re-arrested for reportedly being drunk after he fell down before the judge.

A short time later, Mark Watson failed a breathalyzer test administered by sheriff's deputies.

The initial charges stemmed from Watson's arrest early Monday morning after he had reportedly been involved in a hit and run crash in Bartlesville.

Bartlesville Police investigating the 2:28 a.m. crash found Watson's vehicle and questioned him.

In the probable cause affidavit filed with the court, Watson told officers, "I'm #*$%ing drunk, I was driving but I did not run the stop sign. That a##%& hit me."

The affidavit goes on to say Watson refused to take a blood or breath test, telling the officers, "I ain't taking no *#$%ing tests. I'm *#$%ing drunk. I'm blind anyways and I can't drive."

Police say he also kicked an officer during the arrest.

This is so much fun. Don't you love that long list of charges? What an effing idiot. At the first arrest he never denies being drunk but tries to place the blame on the other in "I wouldn't have been caught if it weren't for that a**hole." Then goes on in an attempt to lie his way out of even being at the scene. "I can't drive. I'm blind." Blind drunk, maybe. Blind to your own stupidity for certain. Finally, to make darn sure they know he is serious about his idiocy, he kicks the officer. Apparently, he isn't so blind that he can't locate a shin.

But wait! He also shows up before the judge drunk!!! Way to go buddy. I am sure he just wanted to hear the judge repeat that famous Dean Wormer quote from Animal House: "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

Another story I read about this case had Watson seated in the jury box waiting his trial, falling over and hitting his head. Bwahahahaha. This is the stuff of great slapstick comedy. Dude proceeded to fail a field sobriety test right there in court.

There is no doubt in my mind after hearing the hollow "Thonk" sound of Watson's head hitting the wood jury box, the judge said "What the Hell?"


Sharon Day said...

I do believe that has to be one of my cousins. I know just which one. One Christmas party he complained the Christmas Tree lunged at him and that's how it fell over, it wasn't him drunkenly knocking it over.

Brian Miller said...

seriously...just shaking head...franklin county (next county over) is the moonshine that will make you blind...

KB said...

What a loser this man is. Thanks for sharing.

Rosaria Williams said...

He was asking for it, the whole, earned it more than once.

budh.aaah said...

Hahaaa,I think the judge might have said after hearing the thonk -'guilty as charged' :P

Marla said...

Being an Oklahoman myself, all I can say is, this suff is on our news channel on a regular basis.

Living here is like living in a real life redneck soap opera some days.

Myrna R. said...

I'm a former Alcohol and Drug counselor. I thought nothing would surprise me, but this is too much. That guy needs serious help.

Fay Campbell said...


hedgewitch said...

It's very painful that these stories are always from my state...still, gotta laugh--see stuff like this all the time here. I love the drunks who hold up the liquor stores most.

Caty said...

I'm starting to think my family may be normal after all...Wow, there are just no words for some people :)