One Shot - Wrong Bait

The line floated weightlessly through the air

with the grace of a cloud drifting in the wind.

A flip of the wrist sent it whipping back and forth

as if chasing an unseen foe.

Teasing above calm waters,

the line hoped to entice an unwitting victim.

It would

float,

touch,

tease

yet quarry scattered

like birds from a hungry feral cat.

When would we learn to stop casting aspersions?

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Follow this link for more One Shot Wednesday poems.

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Microfiction Monday - This won't hurt a bit

With gas prices continuing to escalate,

Texaco decided to sell a product

that would make it easier

for us all to accept the “circumstances”.

I jumped into this meme from Susan at Stony River.

If you want to play along, pay her a visit.

All you need is the ability to write a short story

in 140 characters (she accepts less).

However, if you like a more exacting challenge.
Try my Sunday 160 - a microfiction using EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).

Sunday 160 - The Burn

An excruciating heat penetrated his tissue.

He wasn't sure he would survive the burn.

But he knew for certain

he always had to have his chili on New Year’s Day.

_____________________

For the original Sunday 160

 post click here.

If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:

1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).

2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.

3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.

(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160)

4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.

____________________

55 for Luck

A moment of panic overcame him

as he lost sight of her in the crowd.

Time was running short

and he dare not miss his opportunity.

He searched madly,

knowing she would be hard not to see.

She stood out.

As the clock struck twelve

theirs was a good luck kiss for the New Year.

_________________________

Happy New Year to All!

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55

hosted by Mr. Knowitall.

For more 55's pay him a visit -

Mr. Knowitall.

________________________

Or if you want yet another challenge

write a Sunday 160.

Like a text message, the Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces)
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
Visit at least one other Sunday 160

___________________

I promise I will read your 160 and post a comment.

I will admit I'm lazy Sunday mornings lazy, so please be patient

What The Hell Wednesday - Oh Canada!

It seems that What The Hell Wednesday has primarily focused on the good old US of A with a foray or two into Europe I really don't keep track of that kind of detail so if you want to verify, just hit my WTHW archives. So today we visit our fine and friendly neighbors to the north who brought you Molson, Arctic air currents with tons of snow and my friend at Absolutely Narcissism. Really...she is VERY funny and you should go see her.

Drunken Snowmobiler Taunts Police

Mounties say a man was so drunk he thought it would be a good idea to taunt police by spinning his snowmobile around a parking lot while swearing at officers.


Selkirk RCMP say the bizarre incident began around 12:30 a.m. Friday in a hotel parking lot in Petersfield, north of Winnipeg.


The man finally fell off his snowmobile right in front of officers in the midst of his antics, said RCMP.


Police arrested a 35-year-old man from the Rural Municipality of St. Andrews and impounded a 2011 Polaris snowmobile.

Imagine that....a drunken Canadian. Will wonders never cease...eh? Okay, yes, I am stereotyping, but that is just part of the fun of What The Hell Wednesday, it give me free reign to get obnoxious. You know, to be an ugly American. We are soooo good at it.

What I really love about this story is the drunken snowmobiler is riding in circles around the mounties. For some reason this brings to mind the scene in Indiana Jones where the giant of Arabic decent see I can be politically correct brandishes his sword as Indy pulls out a gun and shoots him. Can't you just picture the mounties shaking their heads, pulling out their pistols attached around their necks ala Dudley Dooright and firing away until the bullet riddled snowmobile falls silent. Snowmobiler should have known you done bring a knife to a gun fight.

But in reality, snowmobile guy ends up being so drunk that he falls off the vehicle at the feet of the RCMP. Classic. This is right out of a McKenzie Brothers movie, eh? What was he yelling at the cops? "Eff off you hosers!"? I just wish my imagination was so vivid that I could make this stuff up, but....this is a true story.

I am sure the Mounties looked at the fallen snowmobiler at their feet, shook their heads and said "What the Hell, eh?"

One Shot - Fate

Face to face for the first time
yet souls that had been together
for an eternity
connected,
safe,
familiar.
Feelings open and honest
brothers and sisters,
husbands and wives,
lovers
from another time and place
few gain this opportunity
and fewer still understand and follow.
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Follow this link for more One Shot Wednesday poems.
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Sunday 160 - Aftermath

 A glow of spent happiness filled the air.

 Ribbons and wrap littered the floor

 as satisfied smiles

 long lingered

 across the faces

 of Santas of all ages and sizes.

_____________________

For the original Sunday 160

 post click here.

If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:

1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).

2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.

3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.

(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160)

4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.

____________________

 

Hope all your Christmases were full of happiness and joy.

Christmas Checklist - 55

Reviewing my check list,

I ticked them off one by one.

Decorating, shopping, card mailing all done.

But something disturbed me.

Something was amiss.

Was it leaving out mistletoe and missing a kiss?

No, that too, was checked off

but what was it that remained?

Yes!

A Merry Christmas to blogdom

and new friendships gained.

_________________________

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55
hosted by Mr. Knowitall.
For more 55's pay him a visit -
Mr. Knowitall.
________________________

Or if you want yet another challenge

write a Sunday 160.

Like a text message, the Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces)
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
Visit at least one other Sunday 160

___________________

I promise I will read your 160 and post a comment.

I will admit I'm lazy Sunday mornings lazy, so please be patient

What The Hell Wednesday - Santa's Got A Gun

Somehow I just knew the seamy underbelly of America would come through at Christmas time with an appropriate Holiday story. So I proudly present to you the following as compiled by our dear friends at the Associated Press. Do they still have jobs?

'Santa Claus' robs Rhode Island yacht club bar

EAST PROVIDENCE, R.I. - Call it a ho-ho-holdup. (no I didn't add this line....AP gets all the discredit)

Police say a man dressed as Santa Claus has robbed a Rhode Island yacht club. A bartender was alone in the East Providence Yacht Club Sunday night when a large man wearing a red suit, red hat, white beard and carrying a sack walked into the bar and brandished a gun.

The bartender fled and ran to a nearby business where she called 911. By the time police arrived, the Santa bandit - as well as an undetermined amount of cash from the register - was missing.

No arrests have been made.

I just love that last line. I am sure it is there to assure all the kiddies out there that Santa will still show up on Christmas eve and that he isn't waiting in the poky for the elves to bail him out.

Part of me wants to dispel this story as something AP made up just to use the "Ho ho hold-up" line and here's why....The bar at a yacht club is empty except for the bartender. I mean really. This is about as believable as the tooth fairy, Sasquatch and, well, Santa Claus. You've all heard the term "drinks like a sailor". No yacht club bar would ever be empty.

Now, then again, maybe this bartender is the guilty party. A fictitious character shows up (mind you a fictitious character renown for giving gifts and being friendly to all); pulls out a gun (jolly old St. Nick with a gun?); and steals cash? No one else is around to see? Soooo, who do you think the police should be looking for? The gun toting Santa (antithesis of what the REAL Santa is supposed to be) OR barely eking out a living bartender tired of ogles, stares and pinches from drunken yachtsmen. Hmmmm.

Regardless of who the actual guilty party is, I am sure once the East Providence police heard the bartender's story, they looked at one another and said (all together now) "What the Hell?"

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On another note. I just got back from my annual check up at the doctor (no...not the full on glove treatment kind, just the let's chat and take your blood kind) and as I was waiting to have my blood drawn, I noticed the nurse looking at a small bottle. What got my attention was the label on the bottle. It looked like an airline size booze bottle with peaches on the label.

I asked the nurse what was in the bottle, to which she replied, "A urine sample. Strangest thing I've ever seen a sample come in." I promptly burst out laughing. Some idiot peed in this tiny booze bottle (can you imagine the mess that would make - the opening on those bottles are minuscule) that is probably unsanitized so he or she could try to pass a UA.

Can't you just hear it? "I'm sorry, sir (or madam) but you failed your urine analysis. It was quite high in alcohol content. Perhaps next time you night consider giving it to us in something different than a peach schnapps bottle."

People amaze me.

Brain Worm - Sunday 160

The Worm was everywhere.
He loved this time of year.
In stores.
In the car.
Even on television.
He left his merry tune.
“Have a Holly Jolly Christmas”, he said.
_____________________

For the original Sunday 160 post click here.
If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:

1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160)
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.
____________________

There are certain songs that are just plain evil we love to hear at this time of year. Hear just a word or two and the song gets stuck in your mind for what seems like, well, forever.The blessed Burl Ives' "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" does that to me....it creeps sickeningly into my head sticks....and since this is a time of year to be generous, I thought I should share. So I give this gift to each and every one of you. Enjoy and have a great week before Christmas.