My Baby Girl
Turns 18 today
Happy Birthday, Monkey Girl
Monday, January 17, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Sunday 160 - Diggin' In
Tiny holes littered the landscape
as if an epic war
of miniature proportions
had scarred the ground.
Wildly digging,
the army wished for maps.
Stupid squirrels.
_____________________
For the original Sunday 160
post click here.
If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:
1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160)
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.
____________________
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Baby it's cold outside - 55
A friend in Wisconsin
said snow has been falling heavily
and is nearly waist high.
The temperature
is staying below freezing
and the icy north wind is increasing.
His wife has done nothing
but look through the kitchen window.
He says that if the weather gets much worse,
he may have to let her in.
________________________
This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55
hosted by Mr. Knowitall.
For more 55's pay him a visit -
________________________
Or if you want yet another challenge
Like a text message, the Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces)
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
Visit at least one other Sunday 160
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
Visit at least one other Sunday 160
___________________
I promise I will read your 160 and post a comment.
I will admit I'm lazy Sunday mornings lazy, so please be patient
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
What The Hell Wednesday - Suspicious Bagel???
Florida Professor Arrested For Having A "Suspicious" Bagel On A Plane
A Florida professor was arrested and removed from a plane Monday after his fellow passengers alerted crew members they thought he had a suspicious package in the overhead compartment.
That "suspicious package" turned out to be keys, a bagel with cream cheese and a hat.
Ognjen Milatovic, 35, was flying from Boston to Washington D.C. on US Airways when he was escorted off the plane for disorderly conduct following the incident.
Monday's incident is another example of other passengers essentially becoming the authority on terrorist activity on planes.
Recently, passenger complaints have resulted authorities taking action against innocent passengers who went to the bathroom too often on a flight and who were just being annoying.
In the hyper-sensitive world of flying, sneezing too often could get you kicked off a flight and questioned by the FBI.
Milatovic, who is a mathematics and statistics professor at the University of North Florida, was minding his business when other passengers turned into super sleuths. Passengers reported hearing strange noises coming from a plastic bag. State police said later that the bag contained a set of keys, a bagel with cream cheese, some other small food items, a hat and a wallet.
When confronted by the US Airways crew about his "suspicious package," Milatovic got on his cell phone. The crew asked him to hang it up and sit down. When he refused, he was cuffed.
Milatovic was also charged with interfering with the operation of an aircraft.
What I think is the biggest surprise here is that NO ONE WAS DRUNK OR ON DRUGS!!! Isn't that amazing? This is just a case of busy bodies at work. Now I don't no what Prof. Milatovic looks like, so I can't say this was a case of profiling, but really...the jingling of keys being a "strange noise". Someone clearly has it in for people of Eastern European heritage. Or they just can't stand the idea of cream cheese on a bagel. Personally, I like a little schmeer.
I also love the list of other suspicious activities that can get you removed from an airplane - sneezing, peeing, being annoying - what's next making unnecessary eye contact? It's going to sound like the back seat of the family car every time you get on a plane. "He's looking at me." "She touching my side of the seat." "Are we there yet?" Passengers are now the authority on terrorist activities and the REAL authorities take them for their word. Crazy.
But what kills me is why does the professor make a cell call when all he had to do was politely ask them to look into the bag so they could see the contents where harmless. Prof was just as guilty as annoying rat, tattle tale person who started the whole bomb bagel rumor to begin with. "But I could have sworn the cream cheese was C4...REALLY!!"
I can just picture the bomb squad carefully taking the paper bag off the plane, opening it up to find a bagel and bunch of miscellaneous personal items. They probably rolled their eyes and said "What the Hell?"
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Sunday 160 - Puleeze!
"Do you come here often?" he asked
as gin sloshed out of his glass.
"The nerve," she answered
as she backed slowly away
from the drunk.
"This is the ladies room.”
_____________________
For the original Sunday 160
post click here.
If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:
1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160)
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.
____________________
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Revealed - 55
Hiding behind a mask of words
from a vivid imagination,
he kept people at a distance.
To trust was to allow vulnerability.
Anonymity was a safe home,
a place to hide,
yet reveal in bits and pieces
while speaking from the heart:
his true source
of feelings and soul.
Read me and know me.
________________________
This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55
hosted by Mr. Knowitall.
For more 55's pay him a visit -
________________________
Or if you want yet another challenge
Like a text message, the Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces)
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
Visit at least one other Sunday 160
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
Visit at least one other Sunday 160
___________________
I promise I will read your 160 and post a comment.
I will admit I'm lazy Sunday mornings lazy, so please be patient
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
What The Hell Wednesday - New Quit Smoking Program
A few weeks ago, I was considering shelving What The Hell Wednesday due to the low number of comments which I interpret as lack of interest on the part of blog readers. Then a few thoughts started playing air hockey in my head with my tiny little brain. Like: why am I being such a comment whore; Why should I care if readers like it if I get enjoyment out of it; and how can I not continue this goofy adventure into the world of the stupid and inept when there are headlines out there like these...
"Nude burglar was tripping on acid"
"Man traded borrowed car for drugs"
"Man says he was beaten with frozen meat"
"No, officer, I stole more than that"
"Man calls 911 on 'The Media'"
You see each week it is a tough call to come up with a great story because they are all so good. My WTHW choice of this week goes to this headline and story.
Wife 'snaps'. Beats her husband with rock for smoking while he was sick
Callaway, FL — A woman was arrested Wednesday morning for beating her husband with a rock, claiming she didn’t want him to smoke a cigarette because of his poor health.
“A woman can only take so much,” she told a deputy.
According to a Bay County Sheriff’s Office incident report, the couple’s 18-year-old daughter called 9-1-1 about 11:31 a.m. Wednesday when she saw her mother beating her father with a rock.
A deputy said that, when they arrived at the scene off North Lakewood Drive, he saw the victim sitting “Indian fashion” on the ground in front of the residence; he was hunched over with his hands over his head, trying to protect himself. His wife was standing behind him. She kicked him in the hip and was using a rock to hit him in the head, the report said.
A deputy told the 41-year-old woman to get off her husband a few times, but she continued to strike him and scream at him, telling him “to give her the cigarettes,” the report said.
Both husband and wife told deputies they had been suffering with the flu recently and had not felt well. The night before, they got into an argument and the woman scratched her husband’s face, the report said. When he mentioned going outside to smoke a cigarette that morning, the wife became angry and told him “he did not need to be smoking since he is sick,” according to the report.
She followed him outside and began to argue with him, then jumped on him and began hitting him in the head with “a small ceramic bird,” the report said. She grabbed other items to hit him, finally picking up a rock.
The man refused treatment by EMS. He said “he knew how to take care of himself,” the report said.
The woman was charged with aggravated battery domestic violence. She said she had been dealing with “a lot of (expletive)” for some time and “a woman can only take so much,” the report said.
She said she was upset because he had the flu and she told him not to smoke, but he went outside and smoked anyway. She added, “A person can only take so much before they snap,” the report said.
Told what she was being charged with, she responded, “Yeah, I hit him with the rock,” according to the report.
The rock was submitted into evidence.
Now THAT'S conflict resolution of the highest order. "Do what I tell you or I'll hit you with a rock". Now I know you are all saying, "Monkey Man, that was a really long story. How can you expect us to read all of that when we have 856 other blogs to read and comment on?" Well, when a story is this good you just have to go with it. Besides that....it's my blog and I'll do what I want. But if it will make you feel better, I will keep my own comments on the story short so you can move on to more poetry and "my cat coughed up a hair ball" blogs. I know, I write and read poetry, but personally, I need more. So sets my personal record for the number of times I can use 'I' in a sentence.
Okay back to the story at hand. This story really speaks for itself but what shocks me is that this couple raised a daughter who has the where with all to call 911. With these two geniuses at the parental helm, you would think she would be too busy sucking on a bong remember this is a PG (sort of) blog...so BONG it is to bring the police to the rescue.
I also love the line "A woman can only take so much". What? Before she starts beating people with rocks? If she beats him with a rock for smoking, what does she do if he leaves the toilet seat up? Does she bring out the club? A sharp knife? "You leave that toilet seat up one more time and you'll find yourself permanently sitting every time you have to pee." I also love how the beating started with "a small ceramic bird" and ultimately led to the rock. Apparently, she really wanted to make her point.
At least he went outside to smoke. Had he been beaten for smoking inside so he knew better? Or was it just an opportunity to get away from the nagging?
As the local police pulled up and observed the situation and yard strewn with blood spattered ceramic birds, rocks and other hard objects, they surely looked at each other and said, "What the Hell?"
"Nude burglar was tripping on acid"
"Man traded borrowed car for drugs"
"Man says he was beaten with frozen meat"
"No, officer, I stole more than that"
"Man calls 911 on 'The Media'"
You see each week it is a tough call to come up with a great story because they are all so good. My WTHW choice of this week goes to this headline and story.
Wife 'snaps'. Beats her husband with rock for smoking while he was sick
Callaway, FL — A woman was arrested Wednesday morning for beating her husband with a rock, claiming she didn’t want him to smoke a cigarette because of his poor health.
“A woman can only take so much,” she told a deputy.
According to a Bay County Sheriff’s Office incident report, the couple’s 18-year-old daughter called 9-1-1 about 11:31 a.m. Wednesday when she saw her mother beating her father with a rock.
A deputy said that, when they arrived at the scene off North Lakewood Drive, he saw the victim sitting “Indian fashion” on the ground in front of the residence; he was hunched over with his hands over his head, trying to protect himself. His wife was standing behind him. She kicked him in the hip and was using a rock to hit him in the head, the report said.
A deputy told the 41-year-old woman to get off her husband a few times, but she continued to strike him and scream at him, telling him “to give her the cigarettes,” the report said.
Both husband and wife told deputies they had been suffering with the flu recently and had not felt well. The night before, they got into an argument and the woman scratched her husband’s face, the report said. When he mentioned going outside to smoke a cigarette that morning, the wife became angry and told him “he did not need to be smoking since he is sick,” according to the report.
She followed him outside and began to argue with him, then jumped on him and began hitting him in the head with “a small ceramic bird,” the report said. She grabbed other items to hit him, finally picking up a rock.
The man refused treatment by EMS. He said “he knew how to take care of himself,” the report said.
The woman was charged with aggravated battery domestic violence. She said she had been dealing with “a lot of (expletive)” for some time and “a woman can only take so much,” the report said.
She said she was upset because he had the flu and she told him not to smoke, but he went outside and smoked anyway. She added, “A person can only take so much before they snap,” the report said.
Told what she was being charged with, she responded, “Yeah, I hit him with the rock,” according to the report.
The rock was submitted into evidence.
Now THAT'S conflict resolution of the highest order. "Do what I tell you or I'll hit you with a rock". Now I know you are all saying, "Monkey Man, that was a really long story. How can you expect us to read all of that when we have 856 other blogs to read and comment on?" Well, when a story is this good you just have to go with it. Besides that....it's my blog and I'll do what I want. But if it will make you feel better, I will keep my own comments on the story short so you can move on to more poetry and "my cat coughed up a hair ball" blogs. I know, I write and read poetry, but personally, I need more. So sets my personal record for the number of times I can use 'I' in a sentence.
Okay back to the story at hand. This story really speaks for itself but what shocks me is that this couple raised a daughter who has the where with all to call 911. With these two geniuses at the parental helm, you would think she would be too busy sucking on a bong remember this is a PG (sort of) blog...so BONG it is to bring the police to the rescue.
I also love the line "A woman can only take so much". What? Before she starts beating people with rocks? If she beats him with a rock for smoking, what does she do if he leaves the toilet seat up? Does she bring out the club? A sharp knife? "You leave that toilet seat up one more time and you'll find yourself permanently sitting every time you have to pee." I also love how the beating started with "a small ceramic bird" and ultimately led to the rock. Apparently, she really wanted to make her point.
At least he went outside to smoke. Had he been beaten for smoking inside so he knew better? Or was it just an opportunity to get away from the nagging?
As the local police pulled up and observed the situation and yard strewn with blood spattered ceramic birds, rocks and other hard objects, they surely looked at each other and said, "What the Hell?"
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
One Shot - Wrong Bait
The line floated weightlessly through the air
with the grace of a cloud drifting in the wind.
A flip of the wrist sent it whipping back and forth
as if chasing an unseen foe.
Teasing above calm waters,
the line hoped to entice an unwitting victim.
It would
float,
touch,
tease
yet quarry scattered
like birds from a hungry feral cat.
When would we learn to stop casting aspersions?
__________________________________
Follow this link for more One Shot Wednesday poems.
__________________________________
Monday, January 3, 2011
Microfiction Monday - This won't hurt a bit
With gas prices continuing to escalate,
Texaco decided to sell a product
that would make it easier
for us all to accept the “circumstances”.
I jumped into this meme from Susan at Stony River.
If you want to play along, pay her a visit.
All you need is the ability to write a short story
in 140 characters (she accepts less).
However, if you like a more exacting challenge.
Try my Sunday 160 - a microfiction using EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).
Try my Sunday 160 - a microfiction using EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Sunday 160 - The Burn
An excruciating heat penetrated his tissue.
He wasn't sure he would survive the burn.
But he knew for certain
he always had to have his chili on New Year’s Day.
_____________________
For the original Sunday 160
post click here.
If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:
1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160)
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.
____________________
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)