Sunday 160 - Are you ready?

Gray skies pressed down coldly overhead, 

crying drizzling tears 

upon hunched shoulders 

and umbrella-covered heads. 

It was a great day to watch college football.

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If you want to play along with the Sunday 160. Here are the rules.

1. The Sunday 160 only uses EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).

2. Keep on schedule - post after 8:00 PM Pacific Time on Saturday.

3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.

(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160. Provide a link if you can)

4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.

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55 - Who here can write?

“We’d heard you are a good writer and we would like you to write some content for our new web site,” said the marketing director.

“I’d love to,” replied the lowly salesman. “I have some great ideas about 2D bar code use. But tell me, do I have to limit my story to 55 words?”

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This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55

hosted by Mr. Knowitall.

For more 55's pay him a visit -

Mr. Knowitall.
_____________________________________________________

If you think Micro Fictions are fun. 

Come join me for a Sunday 160.

A challenge using exactly 160 characters

in a story, poem or writing of your choice.

What The Hell Wednesday - TV Addiction Hurts

Even in my own home town I am not safe from idiocy...and this wasn't the only story featuring brain cell deprived in my neck of the woods. The story I'm not going to share here is one about the drug dealers who placed "Heroin for sale" fliers around their neighborhood. Needless to say, they got busted and so did this guy.....

Man Breaks into Home to Watch TV

PORTLAND, OR - Police in Oregon say a man broke into a home in Portland to watch television.

The Oregonian reported that 32-year-old Jason Leon Bastrom faces charges of criminal trespass after the homeowner called police.

Police say Bastrom let himself in through an unlocked front door early Sunday and sat down on the couch to watch television. They say the homeowner alerted authorities, and then sent over a family member who lived nearby.

Authorities say the family member confronted Bastrom and struck him in the head, knocking him unconscious. Authorities took Bastrom to the hospital to be treated for injuries before booking him into the Multnomah County Jail.

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What first comes to my attention is this guy broke into a house on Sunday morning....in the fall....during football season....to watch TV.  Me thinks his own TV must have been on the fritz, so he decides to break into a house to catch a little pre-game. Maybe looking for insight before he calls his bookie.

What did he do? Walk from door to door in this neighborhood twisting door knobs until he found one unlocked? He probably has a masters degree. Just sayin'.

My curiosity is piqued by the "nearby family member" who "struck him in the head and knocked him unconscious". "Family Member" either has fists of steel or packs a cast iron skillet and TV addict guy had to be carted off to the local hospital for treatment.  Probably pouring out blood like Chuck Wepner. For those too young to remember, Chuck was a fighter known for three things - nearly beating Muhammad Ali, being the basis for the movie "Rocky" and having the nickname Bayonne Bleeder.

Poor homeowner, so frightened they had to call in reinforcements and no doubt pissed because they couldn't watch the game on their TV. What a shame.

Can you imagine starting to walk into your living room to take in NFL on Fox and seeing a stranger already tuned in? I know I would immediately have to say, "What the Hell?"

Sunday 160 - Lost

Wandering aimlessly, 

he refused to believe 

he could be lost. 

Food & water – gone. 

He teetered 

on the brink of panic 

and then remembered 

it was only a corn maze.

______________________________

If you want to play along with the Sunday 160. Here are the rules.

1. The Sunday 160 only uses EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).

2. Keep on schedule - post after 8:00 PM Pacific Time on Saturday.

3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.

(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160. Provide a link if you can)

4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.

____________________

55 - Implants?

“Did you read about the Danish study that concluded radiation from cell phones doesn’t increase the risk of cancer or tumors in the brain?”

“Yah, I suppose now cell phone manufacturers will try to figure out a way to implant phones directly into our heads.”

“Well, that’s one way to do away with butt dialing.”

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This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55

hosted by Mr. Knowitall.

For more 55's pay him a visit -

Mr. Knowitall.
_____________________________________________________

If you think Micro Fictions are fun. 

Come join me for a Sunday 160.

A challenge using exactly 160 characters

in a story, poem or writing of your choice.

What The Hell Wednesday - What a Bunch of Bologna

What The Hell Wednesday has posted a number of stories that fall under the category of "This can't possibly be true", but I am here to tell you that this one is the topper. I only ask one question with this report - "Why?"

Bologna Smuggler Caught at Border

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- A New Mexico resident has been cited after federal officials say he tried to smuggle 76 pounds of bologna into the U.S. from Mexico by hiding it in a spare tire.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection said last week that the eight rolls of Mexican bologna were discovered aboard a truck at an El Paso port of entry on Friday.

According to officials, officers detected an anomaly in the appearance of a Ford F-150 as it arrived at the Paso Del Norte international crossing port. Agents scanned the spare tire with a "Buster" density meter.

When they opened the spare tire, officials said agents found the bologna hidden inside

The driver was assessed a $1,000 civil penalty and was released.

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Really? Bologna? Oscar Mayer not good enough for you? Something extra special hidden in the Mexican bologna? Longer lasting than putting air in your spare? Why not just declare it?

Oh! You say you can't bring prepared meat from Mexico into the US? Then that must be some pretty tasty bologna. Or just cheap. Then again, it's not so cheap when it costs you a civil penalty of $1000.00 or $13,526.56 Mexican Pesos for those keeping track of the monetary exchange across the border.

But for me it just keeps coming back to bologna. Bologna? Do you know what's in that stuff? It's like a flattened hot dog. Does that tell you enough? It's finely ground "sausage" with lard added to it. Yup. Lard.

Can you just image what goes into bologna where processing plants don't have the FDA breathing down their necks? Makes me gag just thinking about it.

But I do get a real chuckle out of picturing the looks on the border patrols' faces when they open up a spare tire thinking "Huge drug bust....great glory for us" and they find.....bologna....76 pounds of bologna. There is no doubt in my mind they literally screamed "What the Hell?"

Sunday 160 - Naked Fall

Ominous hues of black and gray 

rolled through the skies 

with grim ferocity 

sucking even the brightest 

of fall colors 

from the trees, 

leaving them to feel naked.

______________________________

If you want to play along with the Sunday 160. Here are the rules.

1. The Sunday 160 only uses EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).

2. Keep on schedule - post after 8:00 PM Pacific Time on Saturday.

3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.

(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160. Provide a link if you can)

4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.

____________________

55 - Death at Dinner

The family stood over the lifeless form in disbelief. 

Where there had once been the clatter of plates 

and an animated chatter of dinner conversation, 

there was now stunned silence. 

Seconds seemed like hours 

until a voice piped in, 

“You can play dead all you want, 

but it won’t get you out of washing dishes.”

_________________________________________

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55

hosted by Mr. Knowitall.

For more 55's pay him a visit -

Mr. Knowitall.
_____________________________________________________

If you think Micro Fictions are fun. 

Come join me for a Sunday 160.

A challenge using exactly 160 characters

in a story, poem or writing of your choice.

What The Hell Wednesday - Just Desserts

While this isn't the first time someone has run afoul with the law for a "food fight" - see my previous WHTW's titled "That Steak Packs a Punch" and "Tatter Tussel" - I am sure it also won't be the last. Just the same, this story carries an oddity the other two don't...

Woman Arrested For Cupcake Attack

CHICAGO - A Chicago woman arrested on a domestic battery charge allegedly hit her husband over the head and pelted him with cupcakes, police said.

Chicago police said they were called to a home Saturday night in the Brighton Park neighborhood on the Southwest Side of the city and officers arrived to find the husband with smudges of icing on his head and body, the Chicago Tribune reported Monday.

The husband told police he feared for his safety.

Police said the woman admitted to throwing the cupcakes and used "a very aggressive tone" when speaking to officers.

Dawn Montesdeoca, 60, was arrested on a misdemeanor count of domestic battery. Cook County Circuit Judge Adam D. Bourgeois Jr. ordered electronic monitoring for the woman.

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I love that this food fight happened in Cook County. That is so appropriate. But my guess is that Dawn may not have been such a great cook. I mean, how else could this fight have started?

Husband: "Dawn, these cupcakes taste like sh#* and they're so heavy we could hurt someone with them. When are you gonna learn how to bake?"

Dawn: "Great idea....Catch."

So put yourself in the position of being the police who show up at this domestic disturbance and find a guy covered with icing and cake bits. How do you keep from laughing? I mean really. I would have almost bit my tongue in two suppressing even a giggle. Then in their report they actually write that Dawn used "a very aggressive tone" with them. Uh, yah. At least she didn't throw more of her crappy cupcakes.

Not to mention that husband is probably lucky Dawn only picked up cupcakes. But what's next? How will this escalate the next time her cooking is complained about? Husband can only hope she doesn't cook with a cast iron skillet. Or bake pies....you know....rolling pin.

One thing is more than certain, and that is when the Chicago police shared this story back at the precinct house more than one of their peers pronounced between laughs, "What the Hell?"

Sunday 160 - Old Haunts

Sitting quietly at her table, 

she felt a presence 

and began her order. 

Turning to her server, 

she saw no one was there 

and a shivering chill rushed through her.

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Mrs. MM and I are on our way to celebrate our 19th anniversary in a small town in the beautifully scenic Columbia Gorge. While there we intend to enjoy a meal at The Baldwin Saloon which is said to be haunted. We are most excited about it. I hope you all have a good weekend. I won't be stopping by to read your 160's until after our return, but I will stop by.
Thanks in advance for playing along with the Sunday 160.

_______________________

If you want to play along with the Sunday 160. Here are the rules.

1. The Sunday 160 only uses EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).

2. Keep on schedule - post after 8:00 PM Pacific Time on Saturday.

3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.

(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160. Provide a link if you can)

4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.

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