Saturday, October 22, 2011

Sunday 160 - Naked Fall


Ominous hues of black and gray 
rolled through the skies 
with grim ferocity 
sucking even the brightest 
of fall colors 
from the trees, 
leaving them to feel naked.
______________________________

If you want to play along with the Sunday 160. Here are the rules.

1. The Sunday 160 only uses EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post after 8:00 PM Pacific Time on Saturday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160. Provide a link if you can)
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.
____________________

Thursday, October 20, 2011

55 - Death at Dinner


The family stood over the lifeless form in disbelief. 
Where there had once been the clatter of plates 
and an animated chatter of dinner conversation, 
there was now stunned silence. 
Seconds seemed like hours 
until a voice piped in, 
“You can play dead all you want, 
but it won’t get you out of washing dishes.”
_________________________________________


This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55
hosted by Mr. Knowitall.
For more 55's pay him a visit -
Mr. Knowitall.
_____________________________________________________

If you think Micro Fictions are fun. 
Come join me for a Sunday 160.
A challenge using exactly 160 characters
in a story, poem or writing of your choice.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

What The Hell Wednesday - Just Desserts

While this isn't the first time someone has run afoul with the law for a "food fight" - see my previous WHTW's titled "That Steak Packs a Punch" and "Tatter Tussel" - I am sure it also won't be the last. Just the same, this story carries an oddity the other two don't...

Woman Arrested For Cupcake Attack

CHICAGO - A Chicago woman arrested on a domestic battery charge allegedly hit her husband over the head and pelted him with cupcakes, police said.

Chicago police said they were called to a home Saturday night in the Brighton Park neighborhood on the Southwest Side of the city and officers arrived to find the husband with smudges of icing on his head and body, the Chicago Tribune reported Monday.

The husband told police he feared for his safety.

Police said the woman admitted to throwing the cupcakes and used "a very aggressive tone" when speaking to officers.

Dawn Montesdeoca, 60, was arrested on a misdemeanor count of domestic battery. Cook County Circuit Judge Adam D. Bourgeois Jr. ordered electronic monitoring for the woman.

________________

I love that this food fight happened in Cook County. That is so appropriate. But my guess is that Dawn may not have been such a great cook. I mean, how else could this fight have started?

Husband: "Dawn, these cupcakes taste like sh#* and they're so heavy we could hurt someone with them. When are you gonna learn how to bake?"

Dawn: "Great idea....Catch."

So put yourself in the position of being the police who show up at this domestic disturbance and find a guy covered with icing and cake bits. How do you keep from laughing? I mean really. I would have almost bit my tongue in two suppressing even a giggle. Then in their report they actually write that Dawn used "a very aggressive tone" with them. Uh, yah. At least she didn't throw more of her crappy cupcakes.

Not to mention that husband is probably lucky Dawn only picked up cupcakes. But what's next? How will this escalate the next time her cooking is complained about? Husband can only hope she doesn't cook with a cast iron skillet. Or bake pies....you know....rolling pin.

One thing is more than certain, and that is when the Chicago police shared this story back at the precinct house more than one of their peers pronounced between laughs, "What the Hell?"

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Sunday 160 - Old Haunts


Sitting quietly at her table, 
she felt a presence 
and began her order. 
Turning to her server, 
she saw no one was there 
and a shivering chill rushed through her.


______________________________

Mrs. MM and I are on our way to celebrate our 19th anniversary in a small town in the beautifully scenic Columbia Gorge. While there we intend to enjoy a meal at The Baldwin Saloon which is said to be haunted. We are most excited about it. I hope you all have a good weekend. I won't be stopping by to read your 160's until after our return, but I will stop by.
Thanks in advance for playing along with the Sunday 160.

_______________________

If you want to play along with the Sunday 160. Here are the rules.

1. The Sunday 160 only uses EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post after 8:00 PM Pacific Time on Saturday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160. Provide a link if you can)
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.
____________________

Thursday, October 13, 2011

55 - Fall Creeps


The lone leaf loosed the grasp
of its wooden perch
and drifted slowly to their feet.
Huddled close,
as the evening’s chill
sucked the last warmth
from the day,
they felt the shift to Fall
in the full moon’s cool illumination,
the smell of drifting fireplace smoke
and the haunting hoots of an unseen owl.
_________________________________________

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55
hosted by Mr. Knowitall.
For more 55's pay him a visit -
Mr. Knowitall.
_____________________________________________________

If you think Micro Fictions are fun. 
Come join me for a Sunday 160.
A challenge using exactly 160 characters
in a story, poem or writing of your choice.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

What The Hell Wednesday - Nice Doggie

I have to admit, I very nearly skipped putting together a What The Hell Wednesday this week, but when I saw this story, I just had to share. It also had one my all time favorite attributes....it's short.

Kind K-9 Encounter Ends In Arrest

If you have marijuana in your pocket, it's not a good idea to pet a patrolling police dog.

The Binghamton Press & Sun Bulletin reports that 48-year-old Kelly Simpson was busted Wednesday after he stopped to pet K-9 Tarah, who was on foot patrol with her handler in Endicott.

Police say Tarah smelled marijuana and alerted the officer.

Simpson was charged with unlawful possession of marijuana, a violation, and released on an appearance ticket.
___________________

See....short. Just like the foresight of the idiot who just had to pet the dog. What was he thinking??? Oh, that's right, thinking isn't part of the process for one Kelly Simpson.

Did he think there's that word again that he would get over on the policeman? Did he think and again that police dogs are only used to out run criminals and grab them in their teeth? Did he forget like he ever knew that a dog's sense of smell is it's strongest sense? Or was he just plain stupid...rhetorical question, people...rhetorical...we all know the answer.

Of course since I never inhaled, I wouldn't know, but apparently the use of marijuana dulls the mind. Or again, Kelly is just plain stupid. Or both? Votes??

All of the above it is.

For certain, Kelly must have been frightened when the K-9 started "altering his handler". I am sure as the dog pushed its nose into Kelly's marijuana lined pocket, he screamed, "What the Hell?"

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Sunday 160 - Heartless

As the coroner made his “Y” incision 
and opened the cadaver’s chest, 
his assistant gasped, 
“He has no heart.” 
“He was a Wall Street CEO…
he didn’t need a heart.”
______________________________

If you want to play along with the Sunday 160. Here are the rules.

1. The Sunday 160 only uses EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post after 8:00 PM Pacific Time on Saturday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160. Provide a link if you can)
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.
____________________

Thursday, October 6, 2011

55 - Damn Modern Music

“I just don’t like the music 
played on the radio these days. 
Half the time, 
I can’t understand the words. 
The music I grew up with 
was so much more interesting 
and told an intricate 
and fascinating story. 
AND today's lyrics are so repetitive.”

“I have four words for you, Dad. Cream - I’m So Glad.”



_________________________________________

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55
hosted by Mr. Knowitall.
For more 55's pay him a visit -
Mr. Knowitall.
_____________________________________________________

If you think Micro Fictions are fun. 
Come join me for a Sunday 160.
A challenge using exactly 160 characters
in a story, poem or writing of your choice.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

What The Hell Wednesday - Hang up and drive

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you may already know how I feel about those who talk on their cell phones while driving. If you don't know, then go read THIS....but put down your phone first. In the spirit of "Get off your damn cell phone and drive" I found this little gem. Okay, so it's not so little. It may be one of the longest articles I have regurgitated, but if it weren't good it wouldn't be here.

Ex-Cop Reporting Drunk Diver Told To Hang Up

CALGARY - Following a suspected drunk driver who was weaving all over the highway near Okotoks, retired Mountie Rob Laird grabbed his cellphone and dialed 911.

But Laird said he was shocked when after taking his information, the RCMP dispatcher told him to hang up and stop following the suspect SUV as Laird was breaking the province's new distracted driving law.

"In all my years (of policing) I never saw anyone drive like this," said Laird, who was an RCMP officer for 10 years in Okotoks, High River and Calgary.

"Completely over into the left-hand lane forcing vehicles to take the ditch and shoulder, then back again and down into the other ditch where I thought 'he'll end it here and roll it' but this went on for a long ways.

"Finally we pulled up to a traffic light by Okotoks and stopped so I wrote the license plate down and phoned 911.

"I told the girl I was going to witness a fatal accident."

After giving the dispatcher the plate number and a description of the vehicle, Laird said he was told not to follow the vehicle any longer as he was breaking the law himself.

"She said 'are you on hands-free?' and I said 'no, I'm not' and she says 'sir, I want you to hang up because you are breaking the law and I want you to cease following that vehicle.'"

Laird didn't listen, however, and after hanging up, said he followed the SUV to Black Diamond.

"I watched him get out and stagger and fall and grab his golf clubs out of the trunk and stagger into the house and basically get away with this crime," he said.

Given the gravity of the situation, Laird said the police should have been more worried about a potential drunk driver than his holding a cell phone to his ear.

"My understanding of the law is if you are calling about an emergency, you can use your phone," he said.

But that's not entirely true, explained RCMP spokesman Tim Taniguchi.

"It basically says the use of a cellular phone or other communication device (is allowed) for contacting an emergency response unit by an individual driving or operation a vehicle," he said.

"What we do is if a person calls from a vehicle using a wireless device, that's a contact, we get sufficient information to effect a police response."

Taniguchi said police got enough information from Laird -- the license plate, vehicle make and color -- to begin investigation, which is now ongoing.

"We cannot allow the driver to follow a vehicle while on a phone because that's going against the legislation," he said.

"The best situation would be to have a hands-free device or allow a passenger to use the phone and relay information." 
 _______________

So who's the bad guy here? We have three parties all of whom is that right? If it isn't I know someone out there will correct me seem to be teetering on the edge of wrong. Okay, so drunk, weaving, careless idiot driver is  NOT on the edge but waaay over. The other two, however, are clearly in that area of two rights - one trying to be more right than the other - are not necessarily right.

But before I get into that....Okotoks?? Who names these towns? Oh yeah, Canadians. Now back to my story.

Ex-cop just can't stop being a cop. Dispatcher is so rigid with rules she probably can't go to the bathroom without a handbook. These two were on a collision course with one trying to be more right and law abiding than the other. So much so that the drunk gets away. He even has time to get his golf clubs out of his trunk. Saaaay! I wonder if the SUV driver was the same guy caught drunk driving in a golf cart in Massachusetts - you know...the one someone called police about to say a clown stole a golf cart? Naaah. Couldn't be.

But to add insult to injury, we get a lesson on what is legal and what is illegal about using a "non-hands-free" cellular device while driving. Gee, common sense says if you have doubt don't. Which brings me to another point - common sense doesn't appear to be so common any more. So sad.

Without a doubt, when ex-cop and dispatcher hung up from talking with one another, they simultaneously said, "What the Hell?"

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Sunday 160 - Zombie Hangover


Alone and afraid 
as footsteps crept ever closer, 
she hoped they wouldn't find her. 
Then a voice grunted, 
"Zombie Walk was last Friday. 
You can stop hiding now.”
____________

I had so much fun clicking through the list of Zombie Walk participants, 
I just couldn't get out of the mood. I had to write another Zombiesque post. 
Happy October all.

______________________________

If you want to play along with the Sunday 160. Here are the rules.

1. The Sunday 160 only uses EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post after 8:00 PM Pacific Time on Saturday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160. Provide a link if you can)
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.
____________________