Tuesday, September 13, 2011

What The Hell Wednesday - Speed Dial-a-Date

Just like last week, we tromp off into the international world of crazies for our weekly What The Hell Wednesday. This one comes from Amsterdam. I wonder what got into this woman to do such a thing.

Woman Calls Ex-Boyfriend 65,000 Times

AMSTERDAM - Dutch prosecutors are charging a 42-year-old woman with stalking after she allegedly called her ex-boyfriend 65,000 times in the past year.

The 62-year-old victim from The Hague filed a police complaint in August due to the persistent phone calls. Police arrested the suspected stalker Monday, seizing several cell phones and computers from her home in Rotterdam.

Hague prosecution spokeswoman said Thursday the woman argued to judges at a preliminary hearing she had a relationship with the man and the number of calls she placed to him wasn't excessive. The man denied they had a relationship.

The court ordered her not to contact him again.

"The number of calls...to him wasn't excessive." That is a great quote. Here, let me work this out for our 42-year-old from The Hague. What kind of a name is that for a city? Hi, I'm from The Houston or The Philadelphia....oh, wait, we actually have a town in Oregon named The Dalles....forgive me, The Hague. Ms. Not-excessive called Mr. Irresistible 65,000 time in a year. That's 5,416.66666666...times per month, 178 times per day, 7 and a half times per hour or every 8 minutes. Not Excessive? Does she work for a bill collecting company? Not that I would know from experience.Did she sleep? Eat? Work? 

Boss: "Ms. Not-excessive, please don't use your cell phone during staff meetings."

Ms. Not-excessive: "Sokay, I am just ordering lunch."

Boss: "For the 8th time in an hour?"

I won't even mention that the guy is 62 ooops, I just did. Now I'm not saying 62 is old but it is twenty years older than she is. Don't you think you could excessively call someone closer to your own age, Ms. Not-excessive? She is quite a piece of work. He even denies "having a relationship" with her. Well, he did have a relationship. He was the stalkee. 

I bet you can just imagine what Mr. Irresistible said as he answered his phone for the 64,999th time. Yup...he said "Wat in hemelsnaam?" (Translation - "What the Hell?")


steveroni said...

Funny in more than one way. Example: As soon as I read the first short paragraph, I did the calculations. Should have damn-well KNOWN you'd have that all figured out. Good piece, Monkey!

Brian Miller said...

dude...no way...haha...did she not have a job or a life...how many a day is that?

Claudya Martinez said...

So you are telling me I shouldn't call that often?

The Bipolar Diva said...


Shadow said...

she must have one helluva cell contract...

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Hopefully she uses speed dial otherwise she may just have stiff cellphone finger.

MorningAJ said...

What kind of name is The Hague for a city? One English speakers can pronounce.
Its proper name is 's-Gravenhage.

Pheromone Girl said...

But the REAL question is... how many times did she TEXT him???

Julie Ferguson said...

Jeez, not excessive? This lady has no life!