Tuesday, July 26, 2011

What The Hell Wednesday - Creativity in Court

Every once in a while I run into a story that nearly makes me prematurely utter my typical closing words....and this one crosses that threshold.

Felony Stupidity?

TAMPA, Fla. -- A Florida lawyer for a man who lowered an anchor on a cruise ship while drunk says his client committed "felony stupidity."

Daniel Castillo, who practices in Tampa, Fla., asked a court Thursday to dismiss a federal indictment against Rick Ehlert, the Tampa Tribune reported. He suggested charging Ehlert under a federal law designed to go after terrorists is overkill.

"He's guilty of felony stupidity -- that he is," Castillo said. "But I don't think it should be a federal crime."

The MV Ryndam, a ship belonging to the Holland America line, was on its way to Tampa from Costa Maya, Mexico, in November when Ehlert broke into a control room and lowered the anchor, Castillo said. He said Ehlert has admitted his actions.

No one was injured and the vessel was not damaged in the incident, but the arrest warrant said the sudden anchoring could have damaged the rudder or punctured the outer skin of the Ryndam. Someone also threw a life buoy overboard, causing the captain to halt the ship for 40 minutes while passengers were counted to make sure no one was overboard.

What was that now famous line Dean Wormer said to the men of Animal House? Oh yeah, "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life." Well, I don't know if this Ehlert fellow was fat, but he was certainly drunk and stupid. This may be the most honest attorney I have seen quoted in the news. 

If only there really was a law that allowed sentencing for "Felony Stupidity". I can think of any number of people who should be arrested on that account...like these -
  • Cell phone talking, blinker flashing, burger eating, make-up applying driver that is also yelling at his or her kids.
  • Rush to get ahead of me in line at the check out counter, fat ass bitch.
  • Rolling through stop sign while not making eye contact because "if I don't see you, you aren't there" driver.
  • Cell phone talking jaywalker who flips me off for honking before I slam on my brakes to avoid running him over person.
...and those are just a few I can think of at the moment. I am counting on you guys to come up with some of your favorites, too. I know you will.

Back to our story. I say "Book 'em, Danno." This guy was so premeditated. He had to locate the control room, find the anchor release and know how to endanger his fellow passengers. Drunk or not, he should pay for his actions. Who knows who would read this story that will take it to the next level knowing how easy it is to get access to a control room. Or maybe just keel haul him like they used to do in days gone bye. "Enjoy the Ride, Rick. This one's on the house."

All I know is when I first read this story, it was me who said those three little words. What the Hell?


Createliveblog said...

HAHAHA!! What a dumb person. Seriously? The client AND the lawyer.


Sharon Day said...

Glenn Beck for comparing the victims of the Norwegian bombing with Nazi youth.

Possum said...

I'm with you on the keel hauling as not only did he locate the control room, he then broke into it...absolutely premeditated!

Brian Miller said...

ugh on the cell phone jaywalker...oh i could think of a few that might get convicted...

the walking man said...

So Rick Ehlert how did you like that Mexican cruise you just came back from?

You do know that if all stupid suddenly came to a halt there would be more work for you to do on Wednesday right?

Leo Godin said...

The problem is we allow anyone out in public. In my world, we would all need to take a test to obtain a going-out-in-public license. If you fail, it's work-from-home and pizza delivery until you show you have the social graces to be allowed out in public.

Julie Ferguson said...

What a couple of dumbshits, lol.

TALON said...

Felon Stupdity - it would make for the most crowded court dockets in history, but what fun it would be to see people actually have to account for their stupidity. It would have been great if this idiot had actually gone overboard.

I wish I could think of some pet peeves/felon stupidity behaviors, but I'm in a happy place right now and can't think of any!

Deb said...

Question - is some of your content in another language? Even comment sections are a different language? Is anyone else experiencing this? Sorry - had to ask because everything is in Dutch or something - and I have it set to English. I'll be back once I can read! lol

The Bipolar Diva said...

"felony stupidity." I think a few of my tribe of children have committed this at one time or another. Scratch that, they have committed it on multiple occasions.