The barrel was still hot
long after the trigger had been pulled.
Smoke hung in the air
while the perpetrator
casually walked around the room
pondering how life had changed.
Where there was once romance,
there was now rejection.
He missed the good old days
when lighting a lady’s cigarette
was considered a chivalrous deed.
___________________________
This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55
hosted by Mr. Knowitall.
For more 55's pay him a visit -
___________________________
If you want yet another challenge
Like a text message,
the Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces)
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
Visit at least one other Sunday 160
the Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces)
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
Visit at least one other Sunday 160
___________________
I promise I will read your 160 and post a comment.
I will admit I'm lazy Sunday mornings lazy, so please be patient
37 comments:
Whoa, Dude. Did he totally light her cigarette with a .45, or what?
*grins*
This 55'll blow you clean away...
How fun! Times certainly have changed.
Was that a 55 or a .22? lol I'd like to think chivalry not dead, though it may seem like it's on life support sometimes. Great 55!
I don't know how you did it, MM, but you managed to do a character study in a few short lines and made me smile too.
MM....
I just LOVE .45 55's!!
Some people get just what they deserve.
I loved the feel of this.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End
Wow, nice one MM! Intriguing!
Mine is up, and features a gun as well...but the mood is quite different!
smiles. i remember those gun lighters...nicely played monkey...
I remember those old cigarette lighters that look like guns. Now the smoke itself is considered evil.
Well done!
Nice twist. :)
The closest thing to chivalry I see these days is once in awhile a guy will hold a door open for me.
Kinda nice, I guess.
Still, I like to occasionally confuse them by getting to the door first and holding the door open for them instead.
After all, if we're going to have a world full of chaos, it might as well be polite chaos.
Right?
Thanks for another Friday 55!
Mine's here. :)
Seems like 55 is now his speed limit...he should take it up a notch for the gal, good stuff monkey.
he, he, he now they have an app for that!! there is a lighter app for the iphone that my honey has, you have to flick your phone for it to light up!
The way smoking is frowned upon these days, I'm sure the lady should have been grateful it was firing her up and not a firearm. /sarcasm
Nice one, MM.
I especially like the line about the perp casually walking around the room in contemplation. Another nebulously menacing piece of work, MM.
My 55 concerns a different sort of slow death:
Bacon-fat gravy
Hey, this is GOOD, Mr Monkey Man! I like twisty 55's...thank you!
Titillating.
MM
fiery FF55 I hope he didn't singe her eyelashes.
Joanny
smoking was the chic thing to do (once upon a time). all the cool people did, anyway... now just the baddies smoke :(
I remember those lighters :-)
Nice one.
Different world dude...but now I do say "thank you" when they light mine.
Great ! love the sauntering after the fact - perspective seems to be popping up all over- Thanks.
Clever! I like it.
"happiness, is a warm gun"
oh those tender post coital moments...seems he had a touch of PCT...yes, there is a malady for everything...HA
“From pleasure of the bed,/Dull as a worm,/His rod and its butting head/Limp as a worm,/His spirit that has fled/Blind as a worm.”
W.B. Yeats
Peace, hp
Nice.... I still like a man to open my door.
Well done, Monkey Man!
Times have changed, but I agree with Adsila, those gestures are nice.
I felt like I was in a scene from CSI. Awesome work!
I loved the mood you evoked - it played out like a movie.
Yes, times have definitely changed.
Awesome 55, Monkey Man!
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "smoking gun" don't it?
Nice 55, Double-M!
He must have made a hell of a mess of her cigarette!
Mine is at:
http://rnsane.blogspot.com/2011/02/friday-flash-55-shivering-february-25.html
Geez, remind me not to date that guy ever.
You are so funny and wry, Monkey Man!
xo
MY Versoin:
The barrel was still hot, smoke hung in the air. He paced the room pondering how life had changed. Nobody was going to cheat on him and live to talk about it. Where there once was romance there was now rejection. He missed the good old days when they played together. But, by his book cheaters deserve death.
You know I'm really slow. Was the gun a lighter? It was a gun-shaped lighter? Why are you trying to make me look stupid??
I know. It's not hard.
O Dear. It is no longer safe to love anymore!
From romance to rejection. I really love what you did with this, and how you tricked my mind! It's amazing how much things can change between two people and how lethal relationships can be. No one is dying from a gun shot today. The second hand smoke on the other hand ... ;)
A gentleman criminal, huh? Nice one!
Oh maaaannn.. he really should have checked before using that "lighter"... and as it turns out, it was a pistol after all!!
A most interesting and chilling 55, MM!! WOWW!!!!
My uncle had one of those gun lighters when I was a kid. Almost made me want to smoke.
Post a Comment