Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Visiting the town where my grandparents lived and my parents grew up got me to reminiscing about them. My Dad and Grand Dad had a bucketful of sayings which got me thinking and trying to recall some of their more interesting colloquialisms I've heard over the years. Here is a small collection of the sayings and who I attribute them to.

"Like a fart in a skillet" - my dad would say this about anyone who was twitchy, indecisive or annoyingly energetic. You know the type. You may even be one.

"Not worth sour owl shit" - Dad again. Never did figure out how he would know if owl shit was sour.

"Even a broken clock is right twice a day" - Dad was always eager to point out how often he was right and how stupid others could be. I believe he was truly amazed when someone he felt was not up to his standard of perfection would actually get something right. I also know he didn't make this one up. He just liked it.

"Wop Slop" - anytime my mom would make a dinner with red sauce, my father would refer to it as wop slop. In this he provided me my first lessons in sensitivity.

"Slip me a slobber" - my Grand Dad's way of saying 'give me a kiss'. This is the man who taught me that it was okay to pee behind the barn if I couldn't make it back to the house in time.

"Give me a Road Shortener" - Grand Dad's reference to handing him a beer before he took off on a road trip. It was an easier, softer time when the cops would escort you home.

"Slicker 'n' cow slobbers" - Grand Dad of course. He was a farmer who apparently had a saliva fetish. Sometimes I wondered about his relationship with his cattle.

"Picking fly shit out of pepper" - An old boss used to day this about people who found his work just not quite good enough. Perhaps a bit more detail oriented than he was.

"Jumping over dollars to pick up dimes" - same guy when talking about people who would spend money stupidly thinking they would gain from it.

Then there are a few from one of my more anally obsessed friends - Tighter than a chickenhawk's ass in a full dive & Tighter than a gnats ass stretched across a rain barrel. We won't go down the road of women in religious positions.

We have all had those friends or relatives who love sayings. Maybe you're one of them. In any me your stuff.


Green-Eyed Momster said...

Bring on the women in religious positions! (did that sound dirty to you too?) These are so great! I've only heard the clock one being right twice a day. I loved this post! MORE! MORE! MORE! Please?


listen for azure said...

My favorite, favotite, favorite, as you know....
"Always remember. Wherever you go, there you are."
Name that movie.

the walking man said...

Rethefucklax...The old man's favorite.

Slicker than hot snot on a doorknob...somewhere or other.

forever lost said...

"Picking fly shit out of the pepper" I will tuck that in a safe place, I live with an engineer!

My fav, probably cause I can remember them,

Nervous as a cat in a room full of rockin' chairs.

Itchy nose means someone is coming to visit!

PhilipH said...

Some great earthy sayings MM. Some I've heard over here are similar, like 'tight as a fishes arse', or 'a fart in a colander'. Very descriptive.

One I like, when describing the smallness of something is: 'it's smaller than a wrinkle on a pimple of a money-spider's ball'.

Nessa said...

When asked, "What's up?" my husband replies, "A chicken's ass when it eats."

The Peach Tart said...

I've never heard of any of these but I can assure you I'm about to start using a few of them.

g-man said...

You Potlicker!!!

(Not YOU necessarily, just sayin....)

Monkey Man said...

GEM - More, eh? How about...Sharp as a marble.

PhG - Buckaroo Bonzai (even though I guessed wrong the first time)

WM - I remember when you wrote about that blog.

Boots - Niiice. Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

Phillip - That is small. Love the colander twist. Give us more of those.

Nessa - I had a friend who shortened that one. "What's up?" "Chickens butt."

Peach - Come on girl. Bring us treats from the south.

G - Pulease. Bring it stronger than that.

Enchanted Oak said...

My mother used to say, when shocked or outraged, and with great emphasis on each syllable, "SHINGA MUCKA HIGH LO!" I don't know how to spell it or where it came from, but it's useful when the car repairmen hands you a bill twice what you expected, or when you burn your fingers on a hot pot.

Tracie said...

Like a fart in a windstorm - flighty people
Since Hector was a pup - a long time ago

I'm sure there are more.

Tall Kay said...

These are great. I don't really remember...hmmm.
Animals must have a way of bringing these sayings out, and we didn't have any animals other than a dog.