Flash Fiction 55 - Beached

Skeletal remains picked to the bone

from days or weeks

of bobbing and tossing

in the surf

finally landed

on a deserted shore.

Nearly unrecognizable extremities

reached out in awkward directions
for the answer to the question –

Why?

Why had I been torn

unmercifully from my home?

Why now just a discarded piece of art?

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This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55
hosted by Mr. Knowitall.

For more 55's pay him a visit -
Mr. Knowitall.
________________________

Or if you want yet another challenge write a Sunday 160.

Like a text message, the Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces)
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
Visit at least one other Sunday 160

What The Hell Wednesday - Braaains!! (or lack there of)

As we approach Halloween, it only seems appropriate that What The Hell Wednesday start featuring a few scary bits of stupidity. Okay, all of these in their own little way are a bit scary. I mean, after all, we are all of the same species...isn't that a scary enough thought in itself?

So this week we travel to Colorado where we find a very creatively thinking thug using his imagination to its best ability.

Colorado man says he thought officer was a zombie

BOULDER, Colo. — A man accused of shooting at a Longmont police officer trying to arrest him says he did so because he thought he was being chased by a zombie.

Twenty-two-year-old Brandon Duke was in court Friday and pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity to the charge of attempted first-degree murder and other charges. Authorities say an officer ran after Duke and was trying to arrest him on an outstanding warrant.

Duke told investigators he thought the officer was a zombie and he shot at him because he was trying to protect himself. The officer shot Duke, striking him in the torso and arm.

Duke will undergo a mental health evaluation and is scheduled in court again Dec. 3.

What kind of drugs was Brandon Duke on anyway? Police = Zombie. Good one, Brandon. Did the "I thought the woman's husband was chasing me" excuse already run its course? What about the "I was just out jogging and hate to lose a race, so I shot at him" excuse. That one always worked for me. (Not really, but I do hate to lose at anything.)

Now, surely once he got to court and the defense attorney heard the "Zombie" excuse, he jumped all over it. "Hey, kid. Why don't you just plead insanity and we can get you off on a lesser charge? That Policeman equals Zombie thing was quick thinking. I'm going to remember that one. I have a few clients that can use it." Don't you just love our judicial system.

So now Brandon undergoes a "Mental Health Evaluation". Well, of course he's insane. Any idiot who is out there stealing, having an arrest record and shooting at police is nuts. Do we really need these genes floating around the species? I don't think so. Although my guess is he is probably already a "baby daddy", let's snip this potential idiot breeder now before we have several little idiots out there shooting at "Zombies". Too bad the officer didn't shoot just a little lower.

Can you imagine the horror felt by the policeman as he was being shot at by some punk with a minor criminal offense? I am glad he was able to defend himself and hope that Brandon said, "What the Hell?" when the "Zombie" shot back.

Sunday 160 - Happy Anniversary

She glided down the aisle

with confidence and grace.

My heart raced

filling my veins

with everlasting love.

It was eighteen years ago

and I still feel it today.
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October 9, 1992 was the date Mrs. MM and I were married. It was a simple ceremony with immediate family and friends. Love flowed freely. Since this is our anniversary weekend, I won't be checking Sunday 160 blogs until Monday at the earliest.

Thank you all for your continued participation. Have a solid Sunday.
_____________________

For the original Sunday 160 post click here.
If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:

1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160.
_____________________

New Life's Reality - 55

For days their curiosity had built

as they walked past the pad locked door

at the top of the stairs.

All wondered what the mysterious space held.

Even their father stood staring,

bolt cutters in hand.

The home owners had been taken away

to a Japanese internment camp.

What family treasures had they left behind?
_________________________

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55

hosted by Mr. Knowitall.

For more 55's pay him a visit -

Mr. Knowitall.
________________________

The mysterious pad locked door was at the top of the stairs in a home my Mother's family rented in Hood River, Oregon. It was the early 1940's and anyone of Japanese descent was a potential spy, so off they went - entire families - to internment camps. Leaving behind homes, possessions and any semblance of a normal life. My mother lived in one of those lives left behind.

What the Hell Wednesday - Would you like soup with that?

While we had fun at Michigan's expense last week, this week we return to the beloved South where drinking and driving appears to be a way of life. You may remember our friend who stole a tractor for a beer run. If not, just refresh your memory with this look at a past post - Put Down the Beer and the Gun. Or if you're just too excited to review, then get on with it and check out how Grannie tries to sweet talk the police in Ocala, Florida.

Cop: Grandma in DUI offered sandwich

OCALA, Fla., Oct. 2 (UPI) -- A police officer in Florida says a grandmother tried to avoid a drunken driving arrest by offering to make him a grilled cheese sandwich.

If Elsie Wright O'Conner, 65, tried the ploy, it did not work. She was arrested Thursday night and charged with driving under the influence, the Ocala Star-Banner reports.

In his report, Marion County Deputy Calvin Batts said he responded to a call about an erratic driver and pulled O'Conner over. He said he smelled alcohol on her breath and found two Skyy vodka bottles in her Cadillac sport utility vehicle, one empty and one half-full.

O'Conner failed a field sobriety test, Batts said. At the county jail, her blood-alcohol level tested at more than three times the legal limit of 0.08.

"Come on now, I'm a grandma, can't you do something for me since I'm not that bad," Batts said O'Conner told him. "I could have brought you back to my house and made you a grilled cheese sandwich."

Wait a minute!!?! I thought vodka was the odorless alcohol. Maybe Grannie O'Conner thought so too. But at three times the legal limit for blood alcohol level, there just might be a slight smell of booze. Jeez, I'm guessing the bottles found in the vehicle weren't your airline size bottles. Which means grannie can toss 'em back with the best of 'em. Takes me back to my drinking days when a fifth was just the right sized drink. Glad I don't have to suffer that any more.

So, I digress. Don't you just love her approach?

Deputy Batts: M'am? Have you been drinking?

Grannie O': Maybe just a touch, officer. But not enough to make me forget my manners. My momma always said "If a gentleman pulls you over for crossing the center line, be sure to offer him a grilled cheese sandwich."

Now you would think being in the South the offer would be just slightly more ethnic, like cookin' up a mess 'o grits or servin' up some sweet potato pie or hush puppies or some such stereotypical Southern comfort food. But a grilled cheese sandwich???

Don't get me wrong. I love a good grilled cheese sandwich and pride myself as the world's best grilled cheese sandwich maker, but c'mon...this is the South. Let's get creative. Then again, what kind of a southern name is O'Conner. It's a wonder she didn't offer him up corned beef and cabbage.

Anyway you look at it, I am sure Deputy Batts professionally refrained from laughing, then turned and asked himself...."What the Well?"

One Shot Wednesday - The Touch

The great silent tree shudders at a tender touch

Even through thick bark built up over decades

Long, slender, graceful fingers penetrate the shield

Leaving the great tree bare to its emotions

The tree touches back

Groaning, "I'm home."

Moisture dripping from the tips of it leaves

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Follow this link for more One Shot Wednesday poems.

Sunday 160 - Too Green?

Young, green and innocent,

his whole life lay ahead of him.

Little did he know

that an evil man

with an extremely sharp knife

had other ideas about his future.

____________________

For the original Sunday 160 post click here.
If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:

1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160.
____________________

Driving me crazy - 55

The scream pierced the air

with a decibel level high enough to shatter glass.

His foot slammed to the floorboard

with a force that shook the vehicle

to the base of its motor mounts.

But would it be enough?

Teaching your son to drive

required a subtle mastery of emotion

he was still working on.
_________________________

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55

hosted by Mr. Knowitall.

For more 55's pay him a visit -

Mr. Knowitall.
________________________

What the Hell Wednesday - Ankle Bracelete? What Ankel Braceler?

After reviewing a few of my past WTH posts, it became abundantly clear that many of them have been located here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. So I feel the need to share the spotlight with the rest of the country. Specifically with my dear friends in Michigan....and you know who you are. Michiganders - this post is to show your area has criminals just as dumb as ours.

Parolee wearing electronic tether
robs Mr. Pizza in Ypsilanti Township, police say

A parolee still wearing a GPS tether was arrested late Wednesday after police say he robbed an Ypsilanti Township pizzeria at gunpoint and fled into a heavily wooded area.

Washtenaw County Sheriff's Sgt. David Archer said a man entered the Mr. Pizza in the 800 block of Ecorse Road at 11:05 p.m. His face was partially concealed, and he ordered the clerk to empty the cash register at gunpoint, Archer said.

Deputy John Cratsenburg was several blocks from Mr. Pizza when the call came in. He noticed a man riding a bicycle matching the description of the robber, a sheriff's summary said. When the man saw Cratsenburg, he got off the bike and ran.

Sgt. Dave Egeler spotted the man in the area and gave chase into the wooded area, where he and other officers were able to take the man into custody, reports said.

Police recovered the handgun and the cash taken in the robbery, Archer said.

The 43-year-old Washtenaw County resident is scheduled to be arraigned Friday on charges of armed robbery and using a firearm to commit a felony.

Police said he is currently on parole and was wearing an electronic tether, but the details of his past conviction were not immediately available. (G-man: note the Maize & Blue tribute here)

Many thanks to Amilie Nash of AnnArbor.com for bringing this juicy story to light. Also, thanks so much to the forefathers who named towns and counties in Michigan. I just love the way Ypsilanti rolls off the tongue. I could say it for hours and never get bored. Ypsilanti. Ypsilanti. Ypsilanti. And Washtenaw! There's another beauty.

We have a few of those names here in the Pacific Northwest like Skookumchuk, Wahkiakum and Pollywallydoodle - okay we don't have a Pollywallydoodle, but I love being the source of bad song brain worms. Try getting that one out of your head now.

Alright, back to our criminal. Surely this guy must love prison. Why else would he go robbing pizza parlors while not only on parole, but while wearing an "electronic tether" that has a GPS. Was he not listening when they explained to him what that device was and how they would use it?

Reminds me of that old cartoon of the guy training his dog. In one panel he says "Sit, Ginger, sit. Good girl, Ginger. Good Sit," and in the second panel the dogs hears "Blah, blah, Ginger. Blah, blah, blah Ginger. Blah, blah." I am certain that is exactly what this idiot stick heard at his parole hearing - blah blah blah blah blah. Genius.

Best yet. Just where was he going to hide? He had a GPS attached to him. Maybe if he gnawed off his leg he might have gotten away, but then he would have left a trail of blood. Dogs can follow blood.

One thing is very certain here and that is right after the cops saw his ankle jewelry, they looked at each other and said "What the Hell?"

Banning Brilliance - Sunday 160

The smell of kerosene filled the air
as the familiar click of an igniter
echoed into the dark night.
Flames leapt from the newest banned books –
Fahrenheit 451.
____________________

For the original Sunday 160 post click here.

If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:

1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160.
____________________


While Mrs. MM was surfing the proverbial internet the article linked to "Fahrenheit 451" popped out at her. I just couldn't imagine a better bit of irony for a Sunday 160.

Check out the link. I think you may be shocked at some of the "banned" books.