What the Hell Wednesday - Ankle Bracelete? What Ankel Braceler?

After reviewing a few of my past WTH posts, it became abundantly clear that many of them have been located here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. So I feel the need to share the spotlight with the rest of the country. Specifically with my dear friends in Michigan....and you know who you are. Michiganders - this post is to show your area has criminals just as dumb as ours.

Parolee wearing electronic tether
robs Mr. Pizza in Ypsilanti Township, police say

A parolee still wearing a GPS tether was arrested late Wednesday after police say he robbed an Ypsilanti Township pizzeria at gunpoint and fled into a heavily wooded area.

Washtenaw County Sheriff's Sgt. David Archer said a man entered the Mr. Pizza in the 800 block of Ecorse Road at 11:05 p.m. His face was partially concealed, and he ordered the clerk to empty the cash register at gunpoint, Archer said.

Deputy John Cratsenburg was several blocks from Mr. Pizza when the call came in. He noticed a man riding a bicycle matching the description of the robber, a sheriff's summary said. When the man saw Cratsenburg, he got off the bike and ran.

Sgt. Dave Egeler spotted the man in the area and gave chase into the wooded area, where he and other officers were able to take the man into custody, reports said.

Police recovered the handgun and the cash taken in the robbery, Archer said.

The 43-year-old Washtenaw County resident is scheduled to be arraigned Friday on charges of armed robbery and using a firearm to commit a felony.

Police said he is currently on parole and was wearing an electronic tether, but the details of his past conviction were not immediately available. (G-man: note the Maize & Blue tribute here)

Many thanks to Amilie Nash of AnnArbor.com for bringing this juicy story to light. Also, thanks so much to the forefathers who named towns and counties in Michigan. I just love the way Ypsilanti rolls off the tongue. I could say it for hours and never get bored. Ypsilanti. Ypsilanti. Ypsilanti. And Washtenaw! There's another beauty.

We have a few of those names here in the Pacific Northwest like Skookumchuk, Wahkiakum and Pollywallydoodle - okay we don't have a Pollywallydoodle, but I love being the source of bad song brain worms. Try getting that one out of your head now.

Alright, back to our criminal. Surely this guy must love prison. Why else would he go robbing pizza parlors while not only on parole, but while wearing an "electronic tether" that has a GPS. Was he not listening when they explained to him what that device was and how they would use it?

Reminds me of that old cartoon of the guy training his dog. In one panel he says "Sit, Ginger, sit. Good girl, Ginger. Good Sit," and in the second panel the dogs hears "Blah, blah, Ginger. Blah, blah, blah Ginger. Blah, blah." I am certain that is exactly what this idiot stick heard at his parole hearing - blah blah blah blah blah. Genius.

Best yet. Just where was he going to hide? He had a GPS attached to him. Maybe if he gnawed off his leg he might have gotten away, but then he would have left a trail of blood. Dogs can follow blood.

One thing is very certain here and that is right after the cops saw his ankle jewelry, they looked at each other and said "What the Hell?"

Banning Brilliance - Sunday 160

The smell of kerosene filled the air
as the familiar click of an igniter
echoed into the dark night.
Flames leapt from the newest banned books –
Fahrenheit 451.
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For the original Sunday 160 post click here.

If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:

1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160.
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While Mrs. MM was surfing the proverbial internet the article linked to "Fahrenheit 451" popped out at her. I just couldn't imagine a better bit of irony for a Sunday 160.

Check out the link. I think you may be shocked at some of the "banned" books.

A New Life Part V - in 55

Trembling and hissing to a halt

on a ridge overlooking a valley,

the entire family

stepped from the creaking,

road weary truck.

It was a vision the young girl

would carry with her to her dying day.

A scene so beautiful

and full of life

she had to ask herself -

"Am I was in heaven?"

This is a Friday Flash Fiction 55 hosted by Mr. Knowitall.

For more 3F 55's pay him a visit -

Mr. Knowitall.
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When my mother's family travelled from Wyoming to Hood River, Oregon in the very early 1940's they were looking for opportunity. What they discovered was a land of such beauty that my mother thought this must be what heaven would look like. She had never seen a daffodil in bloom or valleys filled with the color and scent of apple, pear and cherry blossoms. This was the beginning of her new life.

I may add a story or two about her life as a child and teenager and her desire to bring herself up from the poverty in which she was raised. Thank you all for your visits during this brief five part series. It is only fitting I stop at five, don't you think?

What the Hell Wednesday - What's That Smell?

You never know what sets people off when you say something that might be just a tad hurtful. Usually the victim of a verbal assault will either turn the other cheek or take it in stride volleying with an insult of their own. But not in Everett, Washington where hearts are apparently worn on sleeves and some people don't take kindly to name calling. Check out this report from the Everett Herald.

Woman stabbed man over feet insult

EVERETT, Wash. (AP) - Prosecutors in Washington state say an 18-year-old woman stabbed a 19-year-old man for teasing her that her feet smelled.

The Herald of Everett reports the man was found by police with a steak knife sticking out of his back, buried a few inches in. His lung had collapsed. Officials say he'll recover.

Charging papers say trouble started when Dallas Amber Smith was drinking and hanging out with friends and was challenged to do a back flip. When she took off her shoes to do the back flip, the teasing started.

Smith had no criminal history. She faces charges of second-degree assault with a deadly weapon.

Hmmmm...18 years old hanging out and drinking. Last I checked the drinking age in Washington State was 21. So we have under age kids getting shit faced. No wonder Miss Dallas Amber Smith overreacted. That is we assume she overreacted. Then again, maybe this is just one angry little girl.

Mom: "Dallas Amber, those shoes really don't go well with that skirt."

Dallas Amber: "Shut up, Mom, or I will stab you with this pencil."

Graduating from pencils to steak knives is a little step. We can only hope somewhere on her police record there is a line that says - DON'T SELL A GUN TO THIS GIRL.

Jeez, lighten up, Dallas Amber. I get kidded all the time because I'm bald, er, follicly challenged, but I don't stab people with kitchen utensils. She also stabbed dude in the back. Was he running from the idiot or did she sneak up on him like some teen slasher movie stalker and stab away.

Regardless, when dude felt the knife piercing his lung, I am sure he must has muttered "What the Hell?"

One Shot - Tick Clack

The straining diesel of a locomotive

echos in the near distance,
pulling its heavy cargo

bound for destinations unknown.

The clack of the rails
under the weight of the rolling steel
is as the ticking of a clock.


At two in the morning
the rhythmic sounds of rails and clocks
do nothing to quiet the activity of the mind.


Offer yourself to Goddess
to do with you what she will
to relieve you of the chatter that interrupts sleep.

Sometimes the mind won't listen.
Wanting to carry a one sided conversation
that no one hears.


Is this just a part of the human condition?
Concern over lives that cannot be controlled or directed.
They will do as they please no matter your wishes.
Your attitude and actions are all you control.


Write.
For relief?
For reprieve?
In hopes of extracting the demons of the mind
that keep sleep at bay?


Perhaps it is just to hear the quiet.
The clacking of the distraction of wheels on rails.
Giving an opening for Goddess to answer prayers
and bring rest to weary minds.


Quiet.
Ticking.

Quiet.
Clacking.

Quiet the mind.

Give peace to the soul the mind wants to rend.

The rails are quiet now.
Only the clocks tick.

If only thoughts passed and left as quietly as
the clacking gone in the distant night,
so sleep could come.

Tick.
Clack
Tick.
Clack.
Tick.
Tick.
Sleep?
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Follow this link for more One Shot Wednesday poems.

Sunday 160 - Spirit

Soft spirituality entered their home.
Happy. Mischievous.
She danced the halls - willing a lightness into all,
lifting heaviness of dark clouds.
It was her way.
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For the original Sunday 160 post click here.

If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:

1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160.
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A New Life Part IV - in 55

Days seemed like weeks.
Hours like days.
Minutes immeasurable.
The cold metal truck bed
had rattled her bones
so she thought she might never again
feel the steadiness of earth.
Yet she smiled
as she breathed in air
so sweet
it felt like heaven entering her lungs.
Eyes closed,
she willed the truck to stop.
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Here are Parts I, II, and III if you wish to play a little catch up.
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This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55.
If you want to know what the hell that means visit g-man.
The challenge is on.
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Or if you want yet another challenge write a Sunday 160.
Like a text message, the Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces)
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
Visit at least one other Sunday 160
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What the Hell Wednesday - Speed Drying?

It was another week of tough decisions - "Man walks around naked to reduce stress" (Nope. Did naked man last week); "RCMP drinking before reporting to his post at a road block to catch drunk drivers" (No one would ever believe I didn't make that one up...but he was a Canadian!?!!); "Burglar falling through a ceiling into the arms of the cops" (Sounds like a tv sitcom - bo-ring); "Couple catches on fire while syphoning gas from a Salvation Army truck" (Karma strikes so copyrights will keep me from reprinting this); or the couple who broke into a home, then told police the did so in order to have a place to "make out" (Hmmmm, too late to the party and I'm trying to keep this blog closer to the PG side of the world....for now)

So the winner is the idiot who is caught driving like a wild man and must have had an app for lame speeding excuses. Here you are -

Alleged speeder claims trying to dry car

NAPERVILLE, Ill., (UPI) -- Police in Illinois said a man pulled over for speeding told an officer he was trying to dry off his car after getting it washed.

Naperville police said Lucas Wright, 24, was pulled over at about 7 p.m. Wednesday after an officer clocked him driving about 100 mph in a 50 mph zone, the Naperville Sun reported.

Police Sgt. Lee Martin said Wright offered an excuse for his speeding that no one in the department heard before.

"He said he'd just gotten his car washed and he was trying to dry it off," Martin said.

Wright was charged with a misdemeanor count of speeding 40 mph or more over the posted limit. Martin said the car, which was still wet from its recent washing, was towed and temporarily impounded.

Maybe he should have just stuck his head out the window and said he was also trying to dry his hair. What a dufus. The sad part about this story is that Lucas Wright probably was trying to dry off his car. I mean it takes brains to make up a story about why you are speeding, but this guy....I'm not so sure.

Can you just picture Lucas looking at his car after going through the car wash and saying, "Damn! It's still wet even after them air thingies blew all over it. Well, guess I'll just have to drive real fast to get the rest of that there water offa my car." Did you ever notice that all these guys seem to talk the same way? Wonder what that is all about?

Welllll...as we have all figured out, waiting for him down the road were the police who, as Lucas sped by at 100 miles per hour, said "What the Hell?" and the chase was on.

One Shot - Tracks

Stop.

Turn around and look back.
Whose tracks are those and where have they led?
Was there purpose?
Was it leaping blindly from one opportunity to the next?
Did the tracks circle aimlessly
or sink deep clinging desperately to a single spot?
Were tracks leading forward then back?
Did knees hit the ground in surrender or prayer?
Will the tracks of the past give direction for the future?
Look back to learn the wisdom of the tracks.
Let it lead forward.
Let it meander with joy.
The end is never known.
Love and cherish the tracks along the way.

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Follow this link for more One Shot Wednesday poems.

TMI Sunday 160

“Dad, why are trees dying?”

“Well, son, trees go into a hibernation mode
and chlorophyll begins to fade
leaving carotenoids as the primary pigments..."

“Huh?”
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For the original Sunday 160 post click here.

If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules:

1. The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160.
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