Tuesday, November 8, 2011

What The Hell Wednesday - Coping With Teaching

As I read through potential candidates for What The Hell Wednesday, it is the headlines that draw me into stories. And when I see the words "School" and "DUI" in the same headline....I know I have a winner.

Teacher Arrested for DUI in School Parking Lot

A Lee County teacher is accused of driving under the influence and deputies say she crashed into another car in her school's parking lot.

Deputies say on Thursday morning, the Dunbar Middle School, school resource officer called to report a minor crash that happened in the parking lot.

The crash involved teacher Christine Murgueytio's white Kia and another parked car.

The SRO told deputies that Murgueytio might have been impaired because an eyewitness had said that she was stumbling and that her speech was "thick tongued."

When deputies arrived and spoke the teacher, she was asked if she had been drinking or taking any drugs.

According to the arrest report, she replied that she had only taken one Ambien Wednesday night.

When asked to take a field sobriety test, she agreed but asked to do so in the back of the parking lot so that her coworkers and students would not see it happening.

Based on the results of those tests, she was placed in custody and asked to give a breath sample.

And as the deputy was gathering her things from her car, according to the arrest report, he found two beer cans in her lunch box next to some uneaten plums.

Murgueytio also agreed to give a urine sample, which was then placed into evidence.

She was then taken to the Lee County Jail, but has since been released on bond.

At first glance, you might think this teacher is drunk first thing in the morning because she  has to deal with junior high kids. But in reality, it's because she drives a Kia. I mean, really! Who wouldn't start chugging beers on the way to work if you had to be seen in a Kia. Isn't that just nothing more than an imitation Honda? Or Toyota?

Or maybe she drinks because she has an unpronounceable name that she has to spell all the time.

Regardless, if she'd eaten the plums no one would have noticed. For sure she would have then been more regular. Oh.....that's prunes? I mean, dried plums? I know they no longer like to market them as prunes.

But she didn't eat the plums and they did notice. No doubt because she was playing bumper cars in the parking lot and staggering around looking for more beer checking out the damage. Then she tries to blame her "thick tongued" speech on an Ambien she had taken. Who knew Ambien smelled like beer?

At least they had the decency to take her out by the school's smoking section to make her do the field sobriety test so the kids couldn't see. Wouldn't want to scare those innocent, impressionable little minds now would we. But that didn't stop the cops from tossing her in the back seat of a squad car and carting her off to jail.

Even as the kids were cheering from their classes, teachers were pondering "What the Hell?"


Maude Lynn said...

The nerve! What made her think that she didn't have to wait till lunch time like the rest of us?

Brian Miller said...

Lol blaming it on the Kia....yes i understand...and lol MZ

Cloudia said...

drives me to drink!

Aloha from Honolulu

Comfort Spiral

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MorningAJ said...

Thing is - did she have beer for breakfast or was she still hammered from the night before?

Pheromone Girl said...

I once knew someone who couldn't drive her car frequently in the morning because she was still soused from the night before. She often bragged about her lovely ankle bracelet though...

Deb said...

Ha, well if I had to deal with kids and drive a Kia, best be assured I'd have a bottle or flask tucked away somewhere. ;)

Julie Ferguson said...

What a fine example for our children...NOT!

Jannie Funster said...

Yeah, when did they downgrade the moniker of prunes to dried plums?? But they do not say "Dried plum" juice, not that I've seen. :)

So sad -- and scary -- these ones who drink and endanger us all.


Unknown said...

I'm laughing over here!! Ha! How crazy is this story? What an idiot. I also really liked your talk about the plums/prunes. I didn't realize they were marketing them differently. Good idea!

Green Monkey said...

........oh absolutely the KIA's fault! :))))))she's got a slew of backup excuses... like driving under the influence of narcotics is okay.

Anonymous said...

I do sympathize and understand that desire to drink when working with middle school kids.