Tuesday, August 30, 2011

What The Hell Wednesday - Quit Clowning Around

 Last week may have brought you one of the dumbest criminals on record, but this story brings the just plain goofiest....and I love goofy stuff. Here's hoping you do to.

Golfer Mistaken for Clown

BATAVIA, N.Y. - A Massachusetts man whose colorful golf attire was briefly mistaken for a clown outfit has been charged in New York with driving a golf cart while drunk.

The Genesee County sheriff says they got a report that someone dressed as a clown was operating a stolen golf cart in the western New York town of Batavia on Sunday night. Deputies found 37-year-old James Straub, of Stoneham, Mass., driving along a road.

He wasn't dressed as a clown - just wearing some colorful clothing after an outing at Terry Hills Golf Course. But deputies say he was intoxicated.

Straub pleaded not guilty in town court to a misdemeanor count of driving while intoxicated and a lesser charge of refusing to take a breath test. He didn't have a lawyer at his initial appearance.

I must say that I am shocked no....not that someone mistook golf attire for a clown outfit that a golfer was intoxicated. Really, now. Golf is an intense sport.....just like softball. As a matter of fact these sports are so intense and involved the participants require multiple breaks for the libation and smoke of their choice.

Have you ever seen a football, basketball or soccer player stop in the middle of a game Note I didn't mention baseball to smoke and drink? Oh, wait. Europeans play soccer, er, futball so there may very well be smoking and drinking during matches. I know there are in the stands...how else would you explain hooliganism??? You never hear about that sort of thing in the states. What? A brawl in San Francisco when they played the Raiders?? Impossible.

Back to the story. I am so easily distracted. Picture, if you will, James Staub in the 19th hole after his round of golf. Beertender says "Buddy, hand over those car keys, you're too drunk to drive." To which James replies, "F.U. I doan need no stinkin' car to get outta here," runs out to hop in a golf cart and races off into the evening only to be caught in an O.J. Simpson slow motion chase with the local sheriff.

Lights pulsating in signature red and blue. Siren screeching out a staccato Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Sheriff walking next to the "speeding" cart all the while thinking "This guy really is a clown," while drivers in cars pass by looking at the scene and asking themselves, "What the hell?"


Brian Miller said...

hahaha...serves him right for those crazy outfits they wear...imagine the phone call...um honey i need bail...the fashion police finally caught me...

Cloudia said...


Aloha from Waikiki;

Comfort Spiral
> < } } ( ° >


< ° ) } } > <

Janna said...

I bet golf is a lot more fun when you're drunk.

It'd have to be.

It couldn't possibly get worse.

steveroni said...

I never had any trouble while drinking. It was when I stopped that my woes began--had to begin paying bills, saying, "I'm sorry" , etc.,etc.

Of course, I never played golf, NOR did I wear a clown suit, although when we farmers went to town, Peeps would say, "Here come the clowns!"

I cannot tell you how much I enjoy Wednesdays. I mean, "What the hell!"

MorningAJ said...

The guy's a golfer.... nuff said!

Sharon Day said...

This is exactly why I have it listed on my "deal breaker" list of men I will not date. No, not the drunken golf cart driving, the miserably dressed golfers.

G-Man said...

Two posts were combined.

Julie Ferguson said...

Drunk or not, they should ticket him for wearing that awful colored outfit in public.

Pheromone Girl said...

How plaid were his pants?

the walking man said...

Why is driving a golf cart while intoxicated on a public thoroughfare a misdemeanor? And why aren't those kinds of golf clothes a class 1 felony.