Tuesday, April 19, 2011

What The Hell Wednesday - More Heroes

I guess I'm just a sucker for hero stories. Especially when the story involves the "weak" knocking the crap out of some brazen idiot who preys on those he feels are lesser. Check out how this grandfatherly type made his point to a robber.

81 Year Old Man Thwarts Robbery With Frying Pan

JACKSONVILLE — A would-be robber got more than he bargained for when an 81-year-old Jacksonville man hit him "upside the head" with a frying pan.

Bobby Smith told officials he was working in his garden Saturday when caretaker Luvina Sones told him an intruder was in the house. Smith went to investigate.

According to an arrest report, the armed suspect knocked Smith to the ground and took his wallet. Smith grabbed the nearest weapon -- a frying pan full of fried potatoes. Smith hit the man, knocking some of his teeth out with the frying pan. He then used a nearby pitchfork to stick the robber in the side.

The bleeding suspect fled and Smith called for help. A K-9 unit found the suspect, who was arrested.

Bobby Smith is my new hero. Not only does he face the burglar but he gets up after being shoved to the floor and starts administering some old fashioned discipline to our "suspect". I think the only thing that might be suspect is that fella's intelligence. Maybe he should have tried picking on a grandmotherly type instead.

So Bobby, not caring that he is trashing his kitchen with leftovers, smacks robber boy with a (no doubt) cast iron skillet thus rearranging his dental work. Then stabs him with a pitchfork. A nearby pitchfork no less. Now, who keeps a pitchfork handy in the kitchen. My new hero Bobby Smith does. I think this could start a trend in home security.

Home security store guy - "Here is the hottest item on the security market today....a pitchfork with self contained hanger. Put it anywhere in the house and just stab those intruders so you leave a great trail for the K9 Unit." 

This time I don't think it was the police who uttered that oft repeated phrase from this post, but the "intruder" himself. Upon feeling the poke of a pitchfork, Mr. Bad Guy most certainly said "What the Hell?"


Brian Miller said...

dude...he needs to start a vigilante crime stopper gang...props to the older man...

Me said...

As I'm reading the story, I'm thinking to myself: "Okay. Dude's in the kitchen...and there's a nearby *pitchfork*?!? Awesome!!"

This must be why I like you, MM. Great minds think alike, right? :)

Author Joshua Hoyt said...

That is awesome. It's a wonder though he didn't get sued for hurting the intruder.

Shadow said...

yay for the 'underdog'

MorningAJ said...

Kudos to Bobby.

Thing is - in the UK he'd be facing charges for assault now. You're not even allowed to use "excessive force" if someone is in your home. And I think the pitchfork thing might be seen as excessive over here.

It really is time we changed our laws!

Pheromone Girl said...

Note to self... add pitchfork to mothers day wish list.

Deb said...

A frying pan full of potatoes! That's precious! I love it.

Dr. Heckle said...

I'm going to have to fashion a weapon with a pan on one end and a pitch fork on the other... Or just hire an old man as a security guard!

the walking man said...

I hope they give the fool 360 days in jail. A year and a day sends him to prison and they would have to repair his teeth and then he might just forget why he got there. By being the dim bulb in the chandelier.

Janna said...



steveroni said...

Hey, hey hey--being 'pronged' by a pitchfork is NO laughing matter.I once ran a 'manure fork' right through my foot (two prong, close together, dripping with horse manure-flavored shavings).

shhhh--like Jesus, the forks missed my bones. Took long time to heal!

Came here from the July 2011 WTH blog--grin!