Shoulders hunched,
back bent
under the weight
of seemingly endless hospital bills,
he stood with glazed eyes
staring without focus
at the nothing life had become.
Gone.
His love of 43 years.
Gone.
The house of love they built.
Gone.
His happiness.
Gone.
His energy to make a new life.
Now he stared at his past,
rolled down the door,
clicked the padlock closed
and walked away.
His life reduced to a five by ten storage space.
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29 comments:
Wow. I wonder if anyone would miss me like that? The imagery was so clear. As a psychic, I feel as if I tapped into someone's life. That's quite a talent, buddy.
A sense of desolation in this. Excellent write.
ok, now my heart has dropped down below my feet and deep into the snow. Beautiful, and so so sad.
Seems the fate of many, due to illness, to find what little space they can possibly afford— after skyrocketing medical bills steal any hope for a relatively good life. Great one, MM
dang. harsh reality...there but for the grace...came close once...nice one shot monkey...
Departing, and loss are two very different things to all of those involved. Staring without focus is something that does not occur lightly, and this line struck me hard, made me think of moments that I have done this. Not moments that I take lightly - I like poems that do this to me. Glad to have stopped by -
Daniel.
Beautifully done. Succinct, yet poignant. I won't forget this one.
I'm with Laura on my heart dropped down. So sad. So well told, so much in just a few poignant sentences.
xo
Wow been there and done that lot my better half to a divorce. This post really opened my eyes to things
I feel much better now!!!
(Great Job)
How very sad. Something about storage places has always been a downer to me. I guess this is just one reason why. Depressed now.
Sadly, I can relate to some of what was written.
I could tell you a story, but this one says it all for both. Great write.
this is profoundly sad.
Ditto Brian's there but for the grace sentiments.
Beautifully balanced piece of writing MM.
Snapshot of a harsh reality for some. What I liked about it is you could have given the subject an ending but you didn't. You left it to each individual to assume what the next step is. The hopeful will see one or two, the cynical one or two different ways. Yes I liked this one a lot.
I could feel the sadness and despair. Nicely written.
Stark and all too real. This is happening every day in one of the most prosperous countries on earth while tiny countries with nothing like our resources provide a health care system to all that makes bankruptcy and eviction due to astronomical, unpayable medical bills impossible. Sad.
This is wonderful. You've really presented the desolation one often sees in the eyes of a spouse whose lifelong love has died.
Very moving. Makes one stop and pause. And give thanks!
too sad and too many people going through this now...nice write, MM :)
Monkey Man, this is SO good. And, so heartbreakingly sad.
I hate storage facilities - mostly sad stories behind them.
Nice One Shot, MM!
Beautiful prose, as I would expect from you. ...but come on, it's fricken January and we're all suicidal enough! Next time think happy thoughts happy thoughts!
ouch - this hurt!
OUCH!! That's quite a loss! He must have had so many memories in his home...
Gee.. I hope he copes with this...
Very well written, MM... powerful, and very moving indeed!!
a chill across the spine. Well written, but a topic too sad and real. I am with Sandra on the happy thoughts for January boat!
so sad MM -- 5 x 10, well written but sad...
joanny
Stunning, effective work. The emotional is lent additional heft by excellent concrete images (too many poets think that ethereal-only is the way to go - it's not).
Perfect piece.
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