Wednesday, July 7, 2010

What the Hell Wednesday - Anger Management and Explosives

In order to find just the right kind of story for WTHW, I read through a lot of material. As a matter of fact, even Mrs. MM is hooked on finding stories and, believe me, she is unbelievably good at finding stuff on the internet. She located an amazing site that led me to this story.

ALEXANDRIA, Va. (AP) - A former priest and anger-management counselor who pulled a gun in a traffic dispute on two men who happened to be U.S. Marshals has been sentenced to a year in prison. Fifty-seven-year-old Jose Luis Avila of Annandale pleaded guilty earlier this year in U.S. District Court to assaulting a federal officer.

In January, Avila was driving by the marshals near his home. He honked his horn because he believed they were standing in the road. When he thought one of the marshals made an obscene gesture at him, he pulled out a loaded handgun.

The 12-month sentence was in line with what prosecutors had sought. Defense lawyers wanted probation or time served; Avila has been jailed since January.

Avila has also been ordered to undergo anger management.

Alrighty then, Jose, you were obviously napping during your own anger management counseling and didn't hear a thing you said. Either that or absorbing all that negative energy in your classes was just more than you could handle. In any case, what are you doing flashing a loaded gun on some guys who may or may not have given you the ultimate "you're number one" hand sign? Guess you have 12 months to think about it and hopefully can learn something from an anger management class taught by a real counselor. One that won't leave two marshals looking at each other asking "What the Hell?" just before they put the cuffs on you.

But wait! There's more. We also have a July 4 Holiday Bonus WTHW. Taken from the July 6, 2010 issue of The Oregonian.

Vancouver -

Man, 41, loses fingers to altered fireworks

Altered fireworks contributed to a July 4 accident in Vancouver that cost a man some fingers and injured a nearby child.

Vancouver Fire Department spokesman Capt. Chris Moen said fire officials responded to an explosion with traumatic injuries just after 10:30 p.m. at 7413 NE 121st Ave.

A 41-year-old man at the house reportedly had several broken bones and severe injuries to his fingers.

Moen said he did not know how many fingers the man lost.

His condition was not disclosed.

An 8-year-old at the address was treated for minor injuries.

Their names were not released. Both were taken to Southwest Washington Medical Center.

The Clark County fire marshal's office determined that altered fireworks played a part in the blast.

He did not say how the man modified the fireworks.

"We want to remind folks how robust fireworks are and even used properly, they can be dangerous," Moen said. "This was definitely a serious and out-of-the-ordinary event." - Molly Hottle

First, I want to commend Molly Hottle on her use of hyphens and the shear number of paragraphs she fit into this story. She must be paid by the amount of space her stories take as opposed to the number or words. REALLY....I kid you not....every lonely sentence you see in that story was a paragraph in the paper. I was going to type in the edited version, then thought it would be more fun to dis Molly's writing style. (Molly - if your editor did the whole hyphen and paragraph thing, I apologize. If not, go back to school.)

Now, on to the story. What kind of life lesson was mister "41-year-old" trying to teach this poor "8-year-old"? If it was "Fireworks can be very dangerous, son" then great job. But just a tad dramatic. I would think blowing up a G.I. Joe or his sister's Barbie might make just as big an impression as maiming yourself for life.

Don't know how many fingers were lost? Must have been an ugly, bloody stump with indistinguishable remaining digits. This is truly sad and tragic. "41-year-old man's" life is permanently changed and poor "8-year-old" will never enjoy another Fourth of July as long as he lives. Haunted by the explosive, er, "robust" nature of the event. Robust? This makes fireworks accidents sound like some sort of wine tasting. "Oooo, that was a robust explosion with just a fine whiff of sulfur and an acrid after taste."

I am sure any number of people not dialing up 911 at the time were simply asking "What the Hell?"


Brian Miller said...

wonder if he wil now use this story to accentuate his just shaking my head..

and the second guy...seems a future darwin award canidate

the walking man said...

Journalistic aptitude aside--"This was definitely a serious and out-of-the-ordinary event."

This man was a serious and out of control idiot.

Subby said...

Anger management doesn't apply to most in Massachusetts...especially when you're driving!

Too bad on th' fire-works. My idiot brother almost lost an eye from a bottle rocket...!

Mona said...

A mature person would ignore and keep silence even if anyone makes an obscene gesture..

that is a lesson learned hard way by the 41 year old. Its a shame...

Anonymous said...

I know a guy who broke a chair IN anger management class. He got kicked out, so he kicked my dog when he got home.

True story.

(12 years ago, now.)

TALON said...

I can't help laughing at the image of a former anger-management counselor having to attend anger-management courses. Wow - pulling a gun for a suspected bird-flipping? I can't imagine what he had in his trunk for a case of getting cut off in traffic!

The fireworks incident is truly tragic. What on earth was he thinking? You're right - if they can't determine the amount of missing fingers, it's pretty certain that's because they're are no fingers left to count.

Deb said...

I'm totally laughing at you reprimanding the editor/writer hahahaa! I hate when people do that type of sentence structuring myself. Ah, the things you see in the news... that is something...

Enchanted Oak said...

I think Molly was filling in the blanks on a journalistic form: Who what when where why and how many fingers were lost? (That was a good gory aggressive question to ask of Capt. Moen. But which hand sustained the trauma? I want more detail.)
But I love an editor and/or writer who can properly use hyphens.
The word "robust" just leaps off the page, doesn't it? It robustly leaps off the page. Give Capt. Moen a gold star for vocabulary and inventive use of adjectives. P.S. Your wine-tasting joke was hilarious.

justsomethoughts... said...

couldnt she have used the words "a rather zesty enterprise" ?

that would have totally made my day

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I wish you could see my face when I read these.

My eyes almost popped out of my head just thinking that there are people like these people in the world. Wow! I'm scared to go outside, let alone, work in RETAIL!


Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis Hall said...

6 awards,
please feel free to take any of them

ignore if you dislike them.

Marla said...

Sometimes I fear these may be relatives.