Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Calling in lazy

Used to be you were either sick or on vacation when it came time to take a day or days off from work. But in today's corporate world we no longer have "sick leave" or "vacation days", there was even "mental health days". Now we have PTO - Paid Time Off. All you have to do is log on to your corporate web site, navigate to the correct form and fill out your PTO slip.

Of course they ask the reason, but here is where you can get creative. I suppose the old standbys would be "I had the flu," or "took a vacation day" or "stayed home with a sick child". But really, I mean, really, what did you do. There are now a whole big group of choices for reasons you stayed home. Try a few on for size and see which one fits you best.

  • My kids used all the hot water in the shower

  • I was out of razor blades

  • I was too lazy to come in today

  • Sick Yoda

  • I caught Spring Fever

  • Couldn't find any clean clothes

  • My wife grounded me to my room

  • My daughter planted a brain worm in my head and I didn't want to bring it to work

  • My wife looked so good I couldn't make it into work today

  • I got tangled up in the sheets and couldn't move

  • Over ate at breakfast

  • I'm having eye trouble...can't see coming into work today (my all time fav)

So this is just a partial list and I'm sure you could come up with more, but as for me this was it because I called in lazy today and didn't feel like being that creative.


listen for azure said...

How did you log in to the network if you were tangled up in the sheets and couldn't move? Hmmm?

Monkey Man said...

monkey magic

the walking man said...

I used to work at a municipal power plant. There were two numbers that had to be called into to get the paid time off.

I called the first and told them to write in the log that "I was sick" then I called into the second one and told them to write in their log "and tired"

No one ever said anything so I guess that system of checks and balances was apt for municipal governance.

Monkey Man said...

TWM - Funny as hell. Thanks for the addition. I will have to look for a second line on my PTO form.