What the Hell Wednesday - This Sucks

Last week I mentioned the dilemma I had in having to choose between two pretty dang good stories and only teased a story about a woman beating her boyfriend with a vacuum cleaner. Well, friends, here it is in all its gory, er, I mean, glory.

Vancouver
Woman arrested in attack with vacuum

A 41-year-old man suffered massive head injuries when is girlfriend allegedly struck him several times with a vacuum cleaner, the Clark County Sheriff's Office reported.

Michelle D. Hawn, 37, of the Hazel Dell area was booked into the county jail on accusations of first degree assault/domestic assault, said Sgt. John Horch, a sheriff's spokesman.

Deputies were called about 5:50 p.m. Tuesday to a residence in the 10800 block of Northeast Highway 99. They found an unconscious man with a bleeding head wound.

Todd Proetel was listed in critical condition without regaining consciousness at Southwest Washington Medical Center.

Noelle Crombie, The Oregonian

So why is she beating him with a vacuum cleaner? Did she come home to some illicit and slightly twisted love affair between her boyfriend and the vacuum? Or was it just the nearest object for her to use as a weapon?

Michelle - "Oh my God, Todd. What's with the wig and lipstick on the vacuum cleaner?"

Todd - "What vacuum? You know I don't do no woman's work around the trailer."

Michelle - "What vacuum! The one attached to your zipper, you freak. Here. If you love that vacuum so much let me get it a little closer to you."

Todd - "Aaaaaaa. That's not what I had in mind."

I don't know about any one else's history with vacuum cleaners, but my vacuum isn't light, even when it's not attached to someone's appendage. This Michelle must be one strong lady to be able to swing a vacuum AND make contact. I am sure there may be some major league baseball teams who might want an interview after she gets out of the pokey.

There are two things I am very sure of about this story. The first is that alcohol was involved. I mean, really, how could it not. The second is the reaction of the police upon entering the "residence" and seeing a man beaten bloody with a vacuum cleaner. They looked at each other and simply said, "What the Hell?"

If you came here looking for my One Shot Wednesday...scroll down.

Windswept Wisdom - A One Shot Wednesday

The trees
are talking tonight.
Some whisper
to answer
the call of crickets.
Others cry
as they stand alone
with no other tree nearby
to touch with leaf or root.
When the wind is low,
they nod to each other.
They rustle and groan
under the weight of their words.
Seeking relief from the boredom of stillness.
The breeze inspires thought
and the surge of decades of wisdom.
Words we cannot understand.
Yet should take the time to hear.
_______________________

Follow this link for more One Shot Wednesday poems.

Sunday 160 Summer Heat

Heat dripped from the skies

like condensation

from the roof of a sweat lodge.

Even the wind bore down

like billows to a smelter.

August arrived with full force.
________________________

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The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).
Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
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55 is Child's Play

An exhausting blur of activity
with an energy level
seemingly beyond his comprehension
left him digging in his memory banks
for anything
that might have closely resembled
this nearly supernatural experience.
It was not the finely disciplined
and practiced play
of a professional sports team.
No.
It was a two year old who discovered running.

____________________________

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55.
If you want to know what the hell that means visit g-man.
The challenge is on.
____________________________

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Like a text message, the Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces)
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What the Hell Wednesday - Considering quitting smoking?

There were a couple of beauties to chose from this week and I whittled it down to two - one where a woman beat her boyfriend bloody with a vacuum cleaner and this one....

Mountain Home, Idaho - Associated Press

Boy, 2, puts vehicle in gear, causes crash

Police in the southern Idaho town of Mountain Home said a 2-year-old boy left in a running vehicle got out of his car seat and put the vehicle in gear and crashed through the glass doors and full-length window wall of a business.

Police said the vehicle also had an infant inside but neither child was injured in the crash Friday that smashed the front of the Big Smoke shop.

Police said the children's 25-year-old mother left the vehicle running while she went into the shop to pick up some items.

Big Smoke Manager Garry Swatzel said he had installed the glass doors the day before.

Big Smoke. Wonder what she was buying?

What some people won't do to feed an addiction. Let's all say it together - Never, ever, ever, ever leave your children alone in a car - let alone a car with its engine running. Probably had the windows rolled up, too. No wonder the kid dropped the car into drive, he wanted to get close enough to his dumb ass mom to yell, "You forgot to leave a window open and it's hot in here." Or maybe he just wanted to get inside where it was air conditioned.

I also must comment on AP's ability to put together a run on sentence. Reread that opening paragraph again. Yes, it is just a stupid filler story, but how many 'ands' can you get into one sentence. I know, it's only three, but it was like listening to a five year old...and then...and then...and then.
As to the manager's comment. Is this a regular occurrence that someone drives through his front doors? "Why I just had them doors fixed yesterday from the last 2-year-old that drove through 'em. Wish they'd learn how to roll down windows."

So inside the store are the mom, manager and who knows who else saying in unison - "What the Hell?"

Bet you want to know about the vacuum cleaner beating don't you? Stay tuned.

Our octogenarian - One Shot Wednesday

Shuffling forward,
hands firmly grasping her walker,
she turned
with that mischievous twinkle
in her eye and said
“I wish I could live to see my 80th birthday.”
She didn’t have the heart.
It stopped beating two days later.
Five months hence we celebrate
with our hearts
knowing she is free.
A soul alive.
Teasing.
Laughing.
Dancing.
Floating.
Dreaming with us as we say
Happy birthday, Mom

My Mother passed away March 15, 2010.

Today I pay tribute on her 80th birthday - August 10, 2010.

Sunday 160 - Confined

Awakened in the dark of night -
sweating,
fearful,
heart pounding -
he felt paralyzed.
Alone.
Arms and legs bound.
He hated the confinement of a down mummy bag.
________________________

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If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules.
The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).
Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
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Visit at least one other Sunday 160.
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Feeding the Beast - 55

Stopping in his tracks,
he lifts his heads
and sniffs the air.
The smell excites him.
Adrenaline shifts into high gear.
Senses heightened,
a feeling of tremendous anticipation
washes over him
and stirs the beast within.
He knows this comforting
yet exhilarating feeling
happens every year
about this time.
Football season is around the corner.
____________________________

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55.
If you want to know what the hell that means visit g-man.
The challenge is on.
____________________________

Or if you want yet another challenge write a Sunday 160.
Like a text message, the Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces)
Keep on schedule - post Sunday
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site
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What the Hell Wednesday - 'Entitled' Theives?

I have spoken with many people who feel there is a sense of entitlement throughout much of the American landscape, but this one takes the cake, er, cash drawer. Again....I don't make this stuff up. I just find it on this wonderful internet of ours, copy, paste and comment. This one comes from an Associated Press report.

ATLANTA, GA. 8/3/2010 -- Police say a man who robbed a fast-food restaurant with a gun was so mad about the amount of loot that he called back twice to complain.

The man walked up to the drive-through window of an Atlanta Wendy's late Saturday night, wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.

He demanded the cash drawer, grabbed it and ran away.

But police say he later called the fast food restaurant to complain about the amount of cash.

Police say in one call he said that "next time there better be more than $586."

He called again with a similar complaint.

So can you believe this guy? He reminds me of my last sales manager with his method of motivation. I mean, who knows? Perhaps the gunman was hired by the owner of the Wendy's to try to get the employees to boost sales. Can't you just hear the conversations going on inside that store:

Customer - "I'll have the Baconator."

Cashier - "You look really hungry. Are you sure you don't want to make that a Baconator Triple with a large order of fries, a Frosty and maybe one of our Hot Stuffed Baked Potatoes?"

Customer - "Gee, that sounds like a lot of food."

Cashier - "For someone your size? I've seen you in here before and I know you can really pack it way. Don't you want you name on our Wall of Fame for most calories in a single sitting? It's the American thing to do. You don't want to be known as un-American do you?"

So sales are increased due to a thief's insistence. Is this the new economy? Or are we all left to take a fond look at entitled America and ask - What the Hell?

Soft Touch 160

I ran my hand along the arch of her back.
I felt a stir in her muscles
as she silently begged for more
knowing my willingness to oblige.
Dogs love to be petted.
________________________

For the original Sunday 160 post click here.
If you wish to take the challenge, here is a quick look at the rules.
The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).
Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
Visit at least one other Sunday 160.
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