Saturday, October 15, 2011

Sunday 160 - Old Haunts


Sitting quietly at her table, 
she felt a presence 
and began her order. 
Turning to her server, 
she saw no one was there 
and a shivering chill rushed through her.


______________________________

Mrs. MM and I are on our way to celebrate our 19th anniversary in a small town in the beautifully scenic Columbia Gorge. While there we intend to enjoy a meal at The Baldwin Saloon which is said to be haunted. We are most excited about it. I hope you all have a good weekend. I won't be stopping by to read your 160's until after our return, but I will stop by.
Thanks in advance for playing along with the Sunday 160.

_______________________

If you want to play along with the Sunday 160. Here are the rules.

1. The Sunday 160 only uses EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post after 8:00 PM Pacific Time on Saturday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160. Provide a link if you can)
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.
____________________

Thursday, October 13, 2011

55 - Fall Creeps


The lone leaf loosed the grasp
of its wooden perch
and drifted slowly to their feet.
Huddled close,
as the evening’s chill
sucked the last warmth
from the day,
they felt the shift to Fall
in the full moon’s cool illumination,
the smell of drifting fireplace smoke
and the haunting hoots of an unseen owl.
_________________________________________

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55
hosted by Mr. Knowitall.
For more 55's pay him a visit -
Mr. Knowitall.
_____________________________________________________

If you think Micro Fictions are fun. 
Come join me for a Sunday 160.
A challenge using exactly 160 characters
in a story, poem or writing of your choice.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

What The Hell Wednesday - Nice Doggie

I have to admit, I very nearly skipped putting together a What The Hell Wednesday this week, but when I saw this story, I just had to share. It also had one my all time favorite attributes....it's short.

Kind K-9 Encounter Ends In Arrest

If you have marijuana in your pocket, it's not a good idea to pet a patrolling police dog.

The Binghamton Press & Sun Bulletin reports that 48-year-old Kelly Simpson was busted Wednesday after he stopped to pet K-9 Tarah, who was on foot patrol with her handler in Endicott.

Police say Tarah smelled marijuana and alerted the officer.

Simpson was charged with unlawful possession of marijuana, a violation, and released on an appearance ticket.
___________________

See....short. Just like the foresight of the idiot who just had to pet the dog. What was he thinking??? Oh, that's right, thinking isn't part of the process for one Kelly Simpson.

Did he think there's that word again that he would get over on the policeman? Did he think and again that police dogs are only used to out run criminals and grab them in their teeth? Did he forget like he ever knew that a dog's sense of smell is it's strongest sense? Or was he just plain stupid...rhetorical question, people...rhetorical...we all know the answer.

Of course since I never inhaled, I wouldn't know, but apparently the use of marijuana dulls the mind. Or again, Kelly is just plain stupid. Or both? Votes??

All of the above it is.

For certain, Kelly must have been frightened when the K-9 started "altering his handler". I am sure as the dog pushed its nose into Kelly's marijuana lined pocket, he screamed, "What the Hell?"

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Sunday 160 - Heartless

As the coroner made his “Y” incision 
and opened the cadaver’s chest, 
his assistant gasped, 
“He has no heart.” 
“He was a Wall Street CEO…
he didn’t need a heart.”
______________________________

If you want to play along with the Sunday 160. Here are the rules.

1. The Sunday 160 only uses EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post after 8:00 PM Pacific Time on Saturday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160. Provide a link if you can)
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.
____________________

Thursday, October 6, 2011

55 - Damn Modern Music

“I just don’t like the music 
played on the radio these days. 
Half the time, 
I can’t understand the words. 
The music I grew up with 
was so much more interesting 
and told an intricate 
and fascinating story. 
AND today's lyrics are so repetitive.”

“I have four words for you, Dad. Cream - I’m So Glad.”



_________________________________________

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55
hosted by Mr. Knowitall.
For more 55's pay him a visit -
Mr. Knowitall.
_____________________________________________________

If you think Micro Fictions are fun. 
Come join me for a Sunday 160.
A challenge using exactly 160 characters
in a story, poem or writing of your choice.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

What The Hell Wednesday - Hang up and drive

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you may already know how I feel about those who talk on their cell phones while driving. If you don't know, then go read THIS....but put down your phone first. In the spirit of "Get off your damn cell phone and drive" I found this little gem. Okay, so it's not so little. It may be one of the longest articles I have regurgitated, but if it weren't good it wouldn't be here.

Ex-Cop Reporting Drunk Diver Told To Hang Up

CALGARY - Following a suspected drunk driver who was weaving all over the highway near Okotoks, retired Mountie Rob Laird grabbed his cellphone and dialed 911.

But Laird said he was shocked when after taking his information, the RCMP dispatcher told him to hang up and stop following the suspect SUV as Laird was breaking the province's new distracted driving law.

"In all my years (of policing) I never saw anyone drive like this," said Laird, who was an RCMP officer for 10 years in Okotoks, High River and Calgary.

"Completely over into the left-hand lane forcing vehicles to take the ditch and shoulder, then back again and down into the other ditch where I thought 'he'll end it here and roll it' but this went on for a long ways.

"Finally we pulled up to a traffic light by Okotoks and stopped so I wrote the license plate down and phoned 911.

"I told the girl I was going to witness a fatal accident."

After giving the dispatcher the plate number and a description of the vehicle, Laird said he was told not to follow the vehicle any longer as he was breaking the law himself.

"She said 'are you on hands-free?' and I said 'no, I'm not' and she says 'sir, I want you to hang up because you are breaking the law and I want you to cease following that vehicle.'"

Laird didn't listen, however, and after hanging up, said he followed the SUV to Black Diamond.

"I watched him get out and stagger and fall and grab his golf clubs out of the trunk and stagger into the house and basically get away with this crime," he said.

Given the gravity of the situation, Laird said the police should have been more worried about a potential drunk driver than his holding a cell phone to his ear.

"My understanding of the law is if you are calling about an emergency, you can use your phone," he said.

But that's not entirely true, explained RCMP spokesman Tim Taniguchi.

"It basically says the use of a cellular phone or other communication device (is allowed) for contacting an emergency response unit by an individual driving or operation a vehicle," he said.

"What we do is if a person calls from a vehicle using a wireless device, that's a contact, we get sufficient information to effect a police response."

Taniguchi said police got enough information from Laird -- the license plate, vehicle make and color -- to begin investigation, which is now ongoing.

"We cannot allow the driver to follow a vehicle while on a phone because that's going against the legislation," he said.

"The best situation would be to have a hands-free device or allow a passenger to use the phone and relay information." 
 _______________

So who's the bad guy here? We have three parties all of whom is that right? If it isn't I know someone out there will correct me seem to be teetering on the edge of wrong. Okay, so drunk, weaving, careless idiot driver is  NOT on the edge but waaay over. The other two, however, are clearly in that area of two rights - one trying to be more right than the other - are not necessarily right.

But before I get into that....Okotoks?? Who names these towns? Oh yeah, Canadians. Now back to my story.

Ex-cop just can't stop being a cop. Dispatcher is so rigid with rules she probably can't go to the bathroom without a handbook. These two were on a collision course with one trying to be more right and law abiding than the other. So much so that the drunk gets away. He even has time to get his golf clubs out of his trunk. Saaaay! I wonder if the SUV driver was the same guy caught drunk driving in a golf cart in Massachusetts - you know...the one someone called police about to say a clown stole a golf cart? Naaah. Couldn't be.

But to add insult to injury, we get a lesson on what is legal and what is illegal about using a "non-hands-free" cellular device while driving. Gee, common sense says if you have doubt don't. Which brings me to another point - common sense doesn't appear to be so common any more. So sad.

Without a doubt, when ex-cop and dispatcher hung up from talking with one another, they simultaneously said, "What the Hell?"

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Sunday 160 - Zombie Hangover


Alone and afraid 
as footsteps crept ever closer, 
she hoped they wouldn't find her. 
Then a voice grunted, 
"Zombie Walk was last Friday. 
You can stop hiding now.”
____________

I had so much fun clicking through the list of Zombie Walk participants, 
I just couldn't get out of the mood. I had to write another Zombiesque post. 
Happy October all.

______________________________

If you want to play along with the Sunday 160. Here are the rules.

1. The Sunday 160 only uses EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post after 8:00 PM Pacific Time on Saturday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160. Provide a link if you can)
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.
____________________

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Post Apocalypse 55

The long war had finally ended. 
Disease and violence 
had taken its toll 
through the entire apocalyptic event.
A new world of normalcy now prevailed. 
In a small recovering town, 
a bell jingled 
with the opening of a door 
as the bent shopkeeper slowly grunted, 
“Whut kin Ah git fur ya?” 
“Brains,” 
came the reply.



_________________________________________

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55
hosted by Mr. Knowitall
in  combination with Zombie Walk


hosted by Ghost Hunting Theories.
For more 55's pay G-man a visit -
Mr. Knowitall.
For a list of Zombie Walk participants
check out the list below.
_____________________________________________________

If you think Micro Fictions are fun. 
Come join me for a Sunday 160.
A challenge using exactly 160 characters
in a story, poem or writing of your choice.
______________

Zombie Walk Participants
Ghost Hunting Theories
Above the Norm: Bizarre Arizona
Zombies Everywhere
Holly's Horrorland
Little Gothic Horrors
Anything Horror
Katy Bennett Horror Writer and Poet
Bubba's Place
Horror Smorgasbord
Gnostalgia
Monkey Man
Words and Music
Red Shoes Chronicles
The Wolf's Eyes
My Day in a Sentence
Pixie's Horror Galore
Strange State
The Misadventures of HalloweeNut
Halloween Blues
Kweeny Todd
The California Blogging Massacre
Horror Shock Lolipop
Vanessa Morgan
Improbable Frontiers
No Really, You Can Eat It
Art By Living Dead Girl Nicole
Two Gory Chicks
A Dust Bunny in the Wind
A Ghoul's Best Friend
Zombies Are Magic
Cherry Neko Saves the World
Tall Tales
At the Mansion of Madness
The Haunted Rose
The Rotting Zombie
Halloween Overkill
Out of the Shadows
Creepy Glow Keyhole Gallery
Creepy Glowbugg
Bifocal Univision
Haiku-Koo-Koo
Sherry Soule
Anchors and Roses
Paranormal Researchers Group
Whispering Pines History
Lovely Miss Megs
Sean Thomas Fisher's Blogwash
Rise and Fight
Stump Town Horror
LoliClown's Little Blog of Horror
Zombies Can't Love
Books and Beyond
The Grave Bandits
Screaming Goregasms
Lazy Daisy Life
Icky Monster
Pretty in Fiction
Ivy's Closet
Justine's Halloween
Annie Walls
Just Johnny

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

What The Hell Wednesday - Simon Says

 I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised to see the words "drunk" or "stoned" or "DUI" in the headlines of the stories I review for this weekly funfest. After all, if these people were in their right minds they probably wouldn't be featured in articles about stupid criminals now would they? Don't answer that...it's rhetorical.

Drunk Robber Faked Out By Clerk

PALM BAY, Fla. -- Authorities in Florida say a drunk woman who allegedly tried to rob a convenience store with a toy gun was tricked by a clerk who faked the arrival of police.

Palm Bay police said clerks at a Kangaroo Express store told them Wilnelia Caraballo, 19, was wearing a clear plastic mask and carrying an "Uzi-type" toy gun when she walked into the store at 5:51 a.m. Sunday and went behind the counter.

Police said one clerk, who had been stocking a cooler at the time, spotted Caraballo behind the counter and shouted "Palm Bay police, get on the ground!"

Investigators said Caraballo, who was intoxicated, complied with the instructions and a second clerk held her until officers arrived.

Caraballo was charged with attempted armed robbery and taken to the Brevard County Jail.
 _______________
I hardly see the need to comment on this story because it holds its own so well.  Intoxicated at 5:51 a.m. Wearing a clear plastic mask. Hits the dirt after a shout out by a store clerk who didn't even say "Simon Says". How dumb are we, Wilnelia? And what kind of a name is that? Your momma and daddy liked Willie Nelson so much they named you after him?

See what I mean? This just writes itself. Willienelsonia, wearing a clear mask so she won't be recognized and carrying a toy gun to be intimidating, gets her drunk self out smarted by a clerk who has the wherewithal to pretend to be the police.

First time robbing a convenience store, Wilnelsonmandelia?

Drink too much liquid courage before the heist? 

Not familiar with the rules to Simon Says?

Too stupid for words?

I'm thinking the latter, for sure.

One thing is certain and that is once Wilnelia realized she had been out witted by a convenience store clerk not to say convenience store clerks are dumb - I like my local convenience store clerk, he is a super nice guy I am sure she just mumbled "What the Hell?"

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Sunday 160 - Superstition

The fastidious ritual 
would give him 
control over the destiny 
of his hated rivals 
and place victory 
in his hands. 
His wife thought 
face paint looked ridiculous.


______________________________

1. The Sunday 160 only uses EXACTLY 160 characters (including spaces).
2. Keep on schedule - post after 8:00 PM Pacific Time on Saturday.
3. Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
(Be sure to mention you have posted a 160. Provide a link if you can)
4. Visit at least one other Sunday 160 writer.
____________________