Man Steals Inebriate Service Van
ANCHORAGE, Alaska -- Anchorage police say a city van used to pick up inebriated people was taken on a joyride by a man suspected of drunken driving.
The Anchorage Daily News reported that 35-year-old Donny H. Weston was arrested after police say he got into a Community Service Patrol van parked with the keys in the engine. Police say social workers were attending inebriated people when Weston got into the van.
Police say Weston drove the van for a significant distance, including driving against traffic, and he eventually crashed the van into a bus and ditched it.
The van is part of a city program that picks up inebriated people and shuttles them to sleeping center.
Police say the inebriated men in the back of the van didn't notice the joyride.
Okay! Someone needs to hit the old thesaurus and find out a substitute word for Inebriated! How about - Bombed, Smashed, Plowed, Sh!*faced, Loaded, Plastered, Sloshed, Stewed, Wasted, Tight - I mean really....there are lots of choices other than "Inebriated". Guess they just like to be politically correct at the Anchorage Daily News. (Notice how I left this wide open for all of you to add your two cents worth....as I am sure you will. Yeah. Go ahead. Get Creative. I know you want to.)
A couple of points stick out for me in this story. First, I guess only in Alaska do they leave the keys in the engine. Cars must be different there. Personally, I leave my keys in the ignition. Who edits this stuff?
So Donny goes joy riding in the drunk van with passed out drunks in the back. What a riot. If only those boys in the back had some semblance of consciousness they might have had some fun. Or crapped their pants...one.
9 comments:
Don't they remove the keys from the Vee-Hicle where you live?
Monkey man, you were stating a fact--not preaching. Two things in life we must do alone: die, and....stop drinking.
Liked this post a lot, 'Man...
hehe...there is some irony in all this you know...smacking my head...
looney and alliterative!
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C-razy!
So what was the sandwich story about?
This post has me laughing harder than any other I have read today. Or yesterday for that matter! I was cracking up. LOVED the push for the writer to use another word besides inebriated. Hahaha!! DRUNK BUMS is better!!
It would be more convenient if he stole a cop car since he'd be riding in one in just a while.
You can't make this stuff up.
It is a good thing he didn't kill anyone. The drunken bum in the back probably thought he was on a Disneyland ride.
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