Tuesday, June 7, 2011

What The Hell Wednesday - One Tough Gator

Heroes of many types have graced these posts from stupid criminals to assorted "just plain idiots" who are continually  out to prove the human race may not have advanced as far as its technology. In today's WTH, I focus the just plain silly from a story in my local Oregonian as written by The Associated Press.

Police Battle Hard Headed Gator

Police responding to a rare alligator sighting in suburban Kansas City, took quick action to dispatch the beast, shooting it in the head, as instructed, while it lurked menacingly in the weeds leading to a pond.

It wasn't until a second rifle shot bounced off the reptile's head that the officers realized the had mortally wounded a concrete lawn ornament.

A resident of a subdivision near the pond called police that evening to report that his children spotted the alligator while they were playing in some nearby woods.

After consulting a conservation agent, who told them to kill the gator if they felt it posed a danger, one of the officers shot it twice in the head before realizing something was up.

"It didn't move," said a police spokesperson. "They inched up closer and closer and discovered is was a mock-up of an alligator made to look very lifelike."

Where do I start? This scene is so Keystone Cops, so Boss Hogg, so Barney Fife get the idea yet? have a covered all the generations? that I just had to share it. But let me start at the beginning. It was a couple of kids trespassing in a neighbor's yard that started all this - Kids! - and dad didn't verify. Dad just called 911 in whiny, panicky, little girlie voice, crying for help. 

So the cops show up and, yes, it was evening, and start sneaking up on the poor unsuspecting "reptile". Weren't they suspicious when the critter didn't skitter away at their approach? Or when it stayed still after the first shot...not writhing in death's throe? So they shoot again! Evil concrete killers.

What I want to know is how these two fine men in blue were able to shoe their faces back at the precinct. Do you think they might have been teased? Just a little? Noooo. Police would never do that to some of there own. Nope. Never.

One thing is certain and that is when the police finally got close enough to see this was no real alligator, the most assuredly said, "What the Hell?"

11 comments:

Brian Miller said...

haha...this is a riot...take it to the nth degree and i can see the national guard tossing grenades...

Cloudia said...

can;t we all get along?

Not with gators! LOL



Aloha from Waikiki :)

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Me said...

Hahahaha! Poor cops. Just a stereotype waiting to happen... :)

Mama Zen said...

I can't believe that the dad just called without checking it out for himself!

Adsila said...

That poor fake alligator never had a chance.

Deb said...

Hahahaa! This is great! I love this type of news. "It was inching up closer"???

Pheromone Girl said...

Aww, I feel sort of bad for the officers, they were just trying to protect. Who, after all, put an alligator statue someplace that poor trespassers would see?

Autumnforest said...

You know, they had one like that in the design toscano catalog, but I nearly bought the Loch Ness one. I can't imagine what would have happened!

Monkey Man said...

Pardon either my poor proofing or some blogger copy shifting, but it is now fixed and my first paragraph makes sense. Why didn't someone ask why MM was such a crappy writer? Where was Enchanted Oak to point out my errors.

Okay, someone did. The beloved Mrs. MM whose sharp eye would never overlook a missed edit.

Pheromone Girl said...

You're cute. Most people read through typos and never say a thing - it's only us anally-retentive editor types that point out imperfections. And, if you're like me, only when invited.

Unknown Mami said...

That was one stone cold gator.