Tuesday, June 28, 2011

What The Hell Wednesday - Lame Excuses

I just love it when I find a story that is short, entertaining and to the point. The following is exactly that. As I read these five simple sentences, the movie of the mind started rolling and I couldn't wait to start filling in a few blanks. You'll understand as you read along.

Sobriety Test Reveals More Than "Bad Foot"

DESTIN A 55-year-old man was arrested May 31 for carrying a concealed weapon.

Louis Cruz was pulled over when a deputy saw the man driving erratically. After he was pulled over, Cruz said his truck had a flat tire, which caused his truck to swerve, according to an Okaloosa County Sheriff’s report.

When the deputy performed sobriety tests, Cruz leaned down and showed the deputy his “bad foot” and accidentally revealed his ankle holster.

After Cruz was arrested, he said he did not have a weapon permit.
 _____________

'Scuze me, I am still laughing so hard over Louis Cruz' brain power that I am having a hard time typing. I had to ask myself, did Louis get confused between flat tire and flat feet?  How can one forget they are wearing an ankle holster? And where in the heck is Okaloosa? Why would someone want to name a county after a combination of the tornado state and a city that was the butt of a Marx Brothers joke?

So, Louis Excuse, er, I mean, Cruz stumbles out of his truck, give the police some lame excuse about a flat tire causing his erratic driving then blames his failure to - a) walk a straight line, b) stand on one leg or c) remember he is carrying a concealed weapon - on his "bad foot"

Come on Louis! Couldn't you point to the leg without the ankle holster and blame that "bad foot" on your problem? Hmmmm. Mind a bit fogged, Louis? Not that you were drunk. Noooo. It was a flat tire and a "bad foot" not drugs or alcohol that caused your problems. Always an excuse, eh, Loser, I mean, Louis.  

What kind of surprises me, though, is that Louis wasn't arrested for DUII, but for carrying a concealed weapon with no permit. Who needs the whole drunk driving thing when you've got bigger laws to take him in for breaking.

Can't you just see the expression on the officer's face when Louis raises his pants leg to point out his "bad foot" I just love writing that in quotes and low and behold Officer Okaloosa sees hidden fire arms and says "What the Hell?" 

10 comments:

Brian Miller said...

oh my...perhaps he needed to drink a bit more so he could not have found his vehicle...

The Bipolar Diva said...

perfect episode for "World's Dumbest."

the walking man said...

He may wear the gun on that ankle to remind himself not to shoot himself in the foot again. A lesson he apparently forgot because his truck with the flat was so hard to steer.

MorningAJ said...

Oh that's great. You really should be able to lock people up for being stupid, shouldn't you?

Adsila said...

Flat tire, hahaha? What an idiot!

Mona said...

it happens. people get arrested for funny reasons sometimes. our newspapers are full of such incidents!

Steve E said...

Stupid is as stupid does (my Momma used to say--grin!)

Deb said...

Stupid on both the cop & the guy's part. He should have been arrested for both! Gotta love what alcohol does to some people lol!!

Sandra said...

Yes, I couldn't totally tell that you were having a lot of fun typing "bad foot"! So clearly, if you're having fun, I'm having fun! Carry on! I suspect you could get a lot of use of the words "bad foot" in your next poem.

Trooper Thorn said...

His next excuse was a "sore groin" and then revealed his other weapon: a pea shooter.