Tuesday, May 31, 2011

What The Hell Wednesday - 21 and Over Only, Please

I wonder how many more readers I will get because I titled this "21 and Over Only"? Everyone out there looking for some material beyond a 'G' rating will have to check out the following story to get to the bottom of my title.

Thief proves old enough, just not smart enough

Colorado Springs - A thief walked into a corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the register. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber spied a bottle of scotch behind the counter on a shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag with the money. 

The clerk refused and reported saying "I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he wanted proof. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and put the bottle of scotch in the bag. 

The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he read from the driver's license. 

They arrested the robber two hours later.
 _________

So for all of you who thought this was going to be some steamy story of sex, well, you should know me better. I may be sick and twisted, but I try not to be over the top raunchy. I leave that to others.

Now, back on topic. I just love how this clerk kept his cool and took this tool for a fool. Me? I would have been so afraid staring down the barrel of that shot gun, that I would have given the thief the money, the bottle and my shirt if he wanted it. "Just don't shoot me!"

But Mr. Cool Clerk...nope...he is either a genius or much more afraid of the authorities that would bust him for giving booze to a minor than he is of the gun. I say he is a Genius. Sizing up this idiot, whose bravado is tied up in a gun, and challenging his age. Genius! Brilliant!

Cool Clerk: "I can't give you that scotch. You're not old enough to drink."

Tool: "Am too."

Cool Clerk: "You're just going to have to prove it then. Show me some i.d."

Tool (rocking back and forth from one foot to the other as he looks over his shoulder): "You is a idiot! Can't you tell by my whisker that I is over 21?" thieves are always illiterate

Cool Clerk (authoritatively): "I.d. please."

The balls it took to go down that path. I bow to you, Cool Clerk, and your creative quick thinking. Although Tool may not have been the sharpest knife in the drawer, that was some quick thinking.

As for the arrest. Wouldn't you have love to have seen the expression on the face of Tool as he opened the door to the police and stammered, "What the Hell?"

13 comments:

Possum said...

That is unbelievable! Certainly took balls and nerves of steel to do that.

Pheromone Girl said...

How completely wacky - I wonder if it was good scotch? VERY unlikely...

Steve E said...

Monkey Man, this is exactly what I said as the police arrived at my door: "What the HELL?!"

(But only I knew it was a stolen license--grin!)

Brian Miller said...

snort...what a maroon...yep not a light in that bulb at all...

Autumnforest said...

I readily admit, I would have done the same damn thing. I want to kiss that clerk.

Ixy said...

Very impressive. Talk about remaining calm under pressure - the clerk should go into air traffic control or bomb-defusing.

Me said...

That, my friend, is awesome. Best WTH yet, I think! :)

Unknown Mami said...

I hope he had a drink before the cops showed up.

the walking man said...

I hope it was top shelf scotch because that's the last of it this idiot will taste for awhile. Sad state of affairs when even the crooks are to stupid to just be assholes.

Mama Zen said...

That clerk is beyond cool!

Adsila said...

The robber is definitely a tool and fell for the ol' "you aren't 21let me see your i.d." trick. Kudos to the clerk.

Sandra said...

What? I left a comment and it disappeared...
Ok, I said...to repeat myself: in defense of the thief...oh never mind, it was funnier the first time!
Funny story my man Monkey!

MorningAJ said...

Back in my journalism days I covered a court case of a burglar who had to take his wallet out of his pocket to squeeze through a small open window - and forgot to take it home with him when he left!

Maybe it takes a special kind of stupid to be a thief.