Wednesday, January 26, 2011

What the Hell Wednesday - Now THAT'S a Fan.

(For those who came here to read my One Shot Wednesday....it follows this post.)

As many of you may know from some of my past posts, I am a huge football fan. But after reading this story, I have come to realize that I am a piker compared to some.

Man accused of break-in to watch football

DES MOINES, Iowa - A woman had to move out of her own home recently because a man allegedly moved in without permission. Ronta Rasheona Epps, 38, has a no-contact order against Freddrick Cleaven Little, 35, a resident of the YMCA downtown. She told police that despite the protective order, Little took up residence at her home to watch professional football playoffs on her television.

Epps said she had to move to a motel. She told officers Sunday that she had complained about Little staying at her house previously, but when police went to the door he refused to answer.

Officers again went Sunday night and saw Little through a window. When Little refused to answer the door, an officer opened it with a key Epps provided.

Little was found hiding in an upstairs bathroom. He was arrested on charges of third-degree burglary and violation of a no-contact order. Police said he is on probation for attempted burglary and now is being held without bond.

So I'm thinking at some point these two had some kind of relationship going, but I am putting that aside for now. I am trying to allow my imagination to do a bit of open field running with this one.

One fine Sunday down at the 'Y' Freddrick is watching his favorite NFL team when...BOOM!....the TV in the rec room gives up the ghost. Out of frustration Freddrick (let's call him Freddie) goes for a walk and passes by the window of one Ms. Epps. In the window he spies a very large television screen displaying the game he so desires to watch. Feeling sorry for the poor, cold fan Ms. Epps kindly lets Freddie in to warm up and watch the rest of the game.

The only problem is Freddie turns into the guest from Hell and just won't leave. It seems there is always more football on or Sportscenter or NFL Live or something else in the never ending stream of sports television. Ms. Epps, needing sleep and sanity, moves out of her own home and calls the cops.

I love how the cops peek in the window to catch Freddie eating chips, drinking beer there had to be beer involved and watching TV....still. They let themselves in with a key provided by Ms. Epps but still have to drag the guy out of the bathroom to get him out of the house.

What I want to know is, what exactly did the police say when they were at the door to make Freddie run to the bathroom. "Open up! It's the police. We're here to arrest you for excessive use of sports channels."

No matter. I am sure Freddie would be quite happy in the slammer were he could watch all the TV he wants. As opposed to being at the 'Y' where you flip on the TV to watch your game of the week, get only static and firmly pronounce to the world, "What the Hell?" Before heading out to mooch TV off some innocent victim.

10 comments:

Everyday Goddess said...

Did they go for a blitz and then sack him on his way to the can zone?

MartyrMom said...

Truth...stranger than fiction....
Crazy squatter.....

Possum said...

I just want to know in which baby-names book these folk find these names...for me RONTA is the acronym for "Return On Net Trade Assets" ...I guess Freddie felt her assets were worth hiding in the bathroom for!

Brian Miller said...

dude why not just go watch it at a bar...

Autumnforest said...

Perhaps he was only dating her for her television and it just became more apparent after the breakup.

Shadow said...

i knew there's a reason behind not become a mad sports fan.....

the walking man said...

Wonder what she would have said if he wanted to watch PBS instead of football?

Tabor said...

I knew this inundation of football day after day would turn us into criminals. It has made me feel murderous sometimes....!

Mama Zen said...

I agree that there had to be beer involved!

Mister Sharaf said...

niuce