Tuesday, January 4, 2011

One Shot - Wrong Bait


The line floated weightlessly through the air
with the grace of a cloud drifting in the wind.
A flip of the wrist sent it whipping back and forth
as if chasing an unseen foe.
Teasing above calm waters,
the line hoped to entice an unwitting victim.
It would
float,
touch,
tease
yet quarry scattered
like birds from a hungry feral cat.
When would we learn to stop casting aspersions?
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24 comments:

Autumnforest said...

Very deep. I think that one will circle around in my head before finding just the right spot to settle. Loved the comparison.

Echo said...

Angling is an art. Gives the rest to the mind.

PattiKen said...

i love the final line, MM. It opens the poem for all sorts of interpretations.

Eric Alder said...

(Fishing metaphores get me every time!)

Maybe you should stick to casting pearls before swine?

Brian Miller said...

gotta know what you are trying to catch otherwise you may end up with what you dont want...

Tina said...

LOL Eric, great movie. I agree with Patti, that last line nails it. Nice one, MM!

Lynne H. said...

Great poem.. love the way you wrapped it up in a neat line...

nance marie said...

yep...ya catch more flies with sugar.

KB said...

Hope you find what you're fishing for.

hedgewitch said...

Oooh, surprise ending. Good one, went totally in a direction I wasn't expecting. And better for it. Well done, MM.

cianphelan said...

Great use of the fishing image and scene for the point - like where you went with it. Aspersions certainly aren't going to catch one fish, but so much of the world seems to be serving them up for dinner. Strong ending, potent metaphor.

Kelley said...

You're good. Really good. You need to put all of these in a book or something!

Desert Rose said...

Yes, neat and intriguing. stirring thoughts Monkey man..and i love it when words punch me in the mind :)

anthonynorth said...

That's a great last line.

Shadow said...

beautiful parallel...

Possum said...

I've returned to read this many times...SO good!!!
I even put/read the last line first ...hits you straight in the gullet from the get go.
Brilliant imagery!

gautami tripathy said...

It has many layers...

Here is my one shot:
musical whirlwind

Deb said...

You definitely need a chapbook published! Definitely a beautiful twist here. Loved it!

Kodjo Deynoo. said...

Very though provoking and moving

kavisionz said...

Oh.. this is superb, MM! It's like a quotable quote!! Loved it!
We lash out at others and judge others like it was nobody's business! If we learn to control our negative emotions, things would be so much better...
Your poem has conveyed this message so beautifully!
Happy New Year, MM !!!

booguloo said...

You funny guy.

Claudia said...

deep and true...

Steve Isaak said...

Excellent work - nailed it.

Marla said...

Casting aspersions uses such stinky bait.