Wednesday, September 1, 2010

What the Hell Wednesday - I saw it first!

Times are tough right now and everyone wants a bargain. According to this excerpt from the Modesto Bee, some are downright ornery about getting what they want. Check out the gentlemanly interaction of these two bargain hunters.

Yard sale shopper clobbers another
with a cornbread pan in Sonora

Yard sale etiquette apparently went out the window Friday in Sonora after a 70-year-old man hit another man over the head with a cornbread pan while the two were trying to get access to the sale items.

Jon Joslin, 70, was arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon. The victim, Joseph Brown, 64, suffered a head laceration but refused medical treatment at the scene, according to Sgt. Jeff Wilson, spokesman for the Tuolumne County Sheriff’s Department.


According to Wilson, Joslin arrived early at the yard sale and was told he would not be allowed to buy anything until 8 a.m. because that was the advertised start time.

Brown arrived a little later, at 7:45 a.m., and apparently the two talked about how other yard sales operated differently, Wilson said.

At about 8 a.m., the two walked up a long driveway to the sale, with Brown walking ahead of Joslin.


Wilson said Joslin didn’t like this, and tried tripping Brown. Not knowing what was going on, Brown continued, and Joslin tried tripping Brown again, Wilson said.


Now aware of what was happening, Brown told Joslin to stop and an argument ensued. Brown pushed Joslin, and Joslin — who had the five-pound, cast-iron pan in his hand — hit Brown over the head with it, Wilson said.

Deputies arrived, and took Joslin into custody, Wilson said.

First of all, I love this writer and would love to give him or her full credit, but there was no byline. So, Thank you, whoever you are at the Modesto Bee for your wonderfully written article. I could tell you were biting your tongue and laughing as you wrote this. ("yard sale etiquette apparently went out the window" I love that line - very deadpan - pardon the pun.)

I just pictured these two yahoos hobbling up a long rutted, gravel drive to tables full of crap that no one really wants, but these two had to get. One guy kicking away at the feet of the fellow in front of him in order to get first take.....of what??? If you have been to a garage or yard sale you know what I mean. What is there to fight over? The cast iron cornbread pan? Happy Meal toys? A broken chair? A VCR?

But what really gets me is, Jon and Joe are all buddy-buddy when it comes to bitching about the people in charge of the yard sale for being strict on the start time. Then when the clock strikes eight it's every man for himself. These idiots are those annoying people who start knocking on your door an hour before the sale so they can have first go at anything of "value". If you've had a yard or garage sale, you know the type - parked out in front of you home, peering out of their car, drinking steaming cups of coffee, glancing anxiously at their watches and looking for the first sign of movement in your house.

Personally, I think they both got what the deserved. But I am quite sure when the pan hit Joe Brown's head he immediately thought to himself "What the Hell?"

17 comments:

Brian Miller said...

haha. i can so see this happening...people take their yard sales seriously you know...

the walking man said...

Maybe Joslin clobbered Wilson because he didn't have enough dough for the pan and Wilson wouldn't lend him any bread?

clean and crazy said...

hey, my father used to be one of those yahoos waiting in the car...

come to think of it, i hate yard sales, i just give my stuff to good will

annell said...

Yes, humans are funny people, you just have to observe. Hummmmm, I think I would like one of those cornbread pans?

Caty said...

I love these Wednesday posts!

Cheryl said...

Awesome. I too want to know who wrote this. Pulitzer Prize-worthy stuff here.

Tina said...

I've been to many a yard sale. I've seen arguments turn into shouting, but I've never seen any actual bodily harm...this was a great story! Thanks for finding it and sharing it with us.

beginningpoetry said...

Life is indeed strange. - Bill

PattiKen said...

Oh, how funny. I suspect his first thought was OUCH!

Back in the day, when Filene's Basement was real and original, the "one-off" in downtown Boston, back when there were no dressing rooms and prices really were low, you took your life in your hands just to venture inside.

Deb said...

Ha! I loved the first sentence of this article too! I always notice things like that---very funny. I was always fearful of going to yard/garage sales because the people there are usually a bit crass for me. This just proves my point! lol

Mama Zen said...

If I ever had a yard sale, this is what would happen. I can just picture the bloody carnage in my driveway.

Unknown Mami said...

Wow! Now what I want to know is did Joslin arrive armed with the pan or was it a sale item that he turned into a weapon. Also, I'm curious if they were allowed to stay and if they bought anything. This story leaves me with so many unanswered questions. I want a follow-up.

Tony Single said...

Hilarious. In a sad way. This is why I'll never have a yard sale, or attend one. Who needs the grief? :P

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Maybe shopping is a contact sport....???

I like these posts. Keep 'em coming. I always feel so much better about myself after reading them. Just like after when I shop at Walmart.
;)

Hope you and yours are happy and well.

Hugs!!

Jingle said...

lovely humor!

Jingle said...

please feel free to take the awards in the post , share each award with 1 to 10 friends,

Awards 4 u

Happy Sunday!
Happy September

Marla said...

Hey, a cornbread pan, especially a cast iron one, is considered gold in some neck of the woods.

Maybe the poor guys were going through corn pone withdrawals. It can make one cranky....or so I have heard.