Tuesday, July 27, 2010

One Shot Wednesday - No more crying

We start our lives crying
always dying.
Living life to be a corpse
at the end of course.
Life is ever changing
rearranging.
Confusion reigns at every turn
we try to learn.
Greed has our planet dying
back to crying.
We need to start relearning
not stomach churning.
We need to sacrifice
not just once or twice.
Back to a life of sharing
ever caring.
Remembering your neighbor
providing favor.
Give to this world your love.
Peace soaring like a dove.
End the crying
and the dying.

I have never been one for rhyming poetry, but had this goofy rhythm going through my mind. Figured I would toss it how for reaction. That's what One Shot Wednesday at One Stop Poetry is for, I guess.

31 comments:

moondustwriter said...

MM I like the message you convey to your readers. Can we fly this one high please!!!!


Thanks for posting this on One Shot Wednesday.

and thanks always for your encouragement

Moon smiles

signed...bkm said...

All this is true, sad now we have to lose so much to realize...we may lose it all...hopefully we are not to late...nice read..Monkey Man...bkm

Me said...

I like it, both the message and the rhythm. :)
-C

dustus said...

Well written poem in both rhyme and as a call to action for bettering our world and relationships.

Desert Rose said...

nice poem..liked the idea..thanks for sharing at one stop..:)smiles.

betweenhearts75 said...

Very well done, so true! =)

Brian Miller said...

what a world that would be...think we should start a revolution MM! and that is what one shot is for...smiles. thanks for linking up!

buttercup600 said...

I love the positve message you have given us..it is powerful and loved the line "End the crying
and the dying". A powerful message for which I thank you!! ~ Amanda x

buttercup600 said...

I love the positve message you have given us..it is powerful and loved the line "End the crying
and the dying". A powerful message for which I thank you!! ~ Amanda x

PattiKen said...

(Sorry if this is a duplicate comment. This first one vanished on me.)

This is such a positive message. Would that we could live our lives with "peace soaring like a dove." That is so worth working for. Really nice One Shot, MM.

g-man said...

Rhyme on Brother...
It's YOUR poem!!!

Marla said...

Ya done good, Monkey!

Cloudia said...

And the sighing...






Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral

Dianne said...

could be a rap song ya know! Good job with the rhyme. keep it up. i didn't like mine initially, thinking..."dang Hallmark card!" but the longer the poem, or the mix of soft/half rhyme, or mid-sentence rhyme loosens it some.
-quietly following,
Dianne

TALON said...

"End the crying
and the dying" - YES!

Sad poem, but so true.

Prayer Girl said...

"End the crying and the dying" ........hear, hear.

PG

anthonynorth said...

An excellent emotional plea.

Gwei Mui said...

Beautifully shaped poem
A real roller coster
"We start our lives crying
always dying."
I really like the ending
"End the crying
and the dying."

John's comments said...

Bring back rhymes I say. And a powerful theme here. I do poetry for fun rather than publication so for this week only, I’ve nervously posted an example from each of my blogs: an Elegy from Scribbles and Diversions, a Gogyohka from Random Twitter Stories, and free verse poem from Random Short Stories.

Felicitas said...

MM, this could be a rap song. I found myself sort of singing it in my head. I love the message!

Tony Single said...

Nice one, man. I agree with you: "End the crying and the dying". NOW! :)

the walking man said...

It is good work with a strong purpose behind it. I also am not a fan of rhyming couplets but this one works well.

Jessie said...

nice!
the rhyming appears to be your style, and it works!

smiles,

Claudia said...

no more crying - would be perfect - you almost managed to convince me with your writing...smiles

Claudia said...

...and yes - it would sound fantastic as a rap song!!

kavisionz said...

Poignant indeed!
A great message in there! And out forth with feeling too!
A beautiful read! A neat One Shot!

Wild Rose said...

Wonderful poem, lovely that you shared it with us. came via one-stop :)

Wild Rose~

Caty said...

Great message in this poem...I love the first lines. The rhyming worked terrific.

JH_Poetry said...

A reminding piece of what life is suppose to be about. Your rhyme was okay. smhs

Pete Marshall said...

been away for a week..as you know..and catching up..this kind of reminds me of the 10 commandments..we seem to have forgotten so much..thanks for sharing with One Shot..cheers Pete

Chris said...

An interesting experiment might be to try and rewrite this free-verse without the rhymes and compare the two final products